New Season of The Bachelor Kicks Off with Batman

Batman searches Gotham for his one true loveThe popular reality series The Bachelor kicked off its new season with their newest bachelor in search of love – Batman.

Unlike previous seasons where producers chose those in reality-based professions such as bar owners, Canadian football players, doctors and bass fisherman, this season will be the first with a superhero as the bachelor.

“This is going to take the series in an exciting new direction” said the producers.  “Once it was known that the bachelor was going to be a superhero we had no problem finding 25 woman for this season, though some were disappointed that Batman has no superpowers.”

Among the 25 contestants are a librarian from Utica, New York, a computer consultant from Seattle and Catwoman.

“We just had to have Catwoman on.  She’s going to bring ratings and controversy.  We’re billing her as ‘Spice’ on the show.”

Critics who have seen the advance previews are calling it the best season yet.  And the controversy won’t end with Catwoman.   Several contestants left early, claiming they were traumatized by the experience.  One contestant is suing the producers, claiming that she is suffering from nightmares.

“I was supposed to go on this nice romantic date with Batman at this museum.  Everything was going fine until the museum was gassed.  What sort of joker would do that?  Then Batman whisked me out, asked me how much I weighed and placed me on some high wire cable.  You just don’t ask a woman how much she weighs and I have vertigo!”

Another contestant quit after Batman brought her back to his bat cave.

“He took me to his bedroom and wouldn’t even take off his cape or boots.  Then he asked me if it was alright if Robin watched?  Come on!  For a first date at least take your cape off.”

Perhaps the season’s most controversial episode is the infamous “slurp slurp” episode.

“One contestant kept asking Batman if he had any superpowers.  She must have asked him 20 times if he had anything to show her.  Finally he got tired and said ‘Yeah, I have something to show you.’ ”

That heavily edited episode will be available in its entirety on DVD.

Producers are so excited about this season that they are considering using more superheroes in the future.

“We’ve already talked to the Green Lantern, Superman, the Hulk and Darkman and they are interested.”

Producers also wanted Captain America but he was unavailable due to Visa problems.

“He lives in Vancouver, B.C., and does a lot of television work up there.  It’s a shame. He would have been excellent.”

The Bachelor airs Monday nights on ABC.


2 Responses

  1. Matt says:

    At least they didn’t ask Aquaman.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Aquaman is busy. He’s currently on that Celebrity Addiction reality show.

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