What’s a Shower Amongst Friends?

Eric Massa -  his tastes include snails and oystersDisgraced freshman Congressman Eric Massa (D-NY) is laying bare the entire tale of the events leading up to his departure from Washington.

“I’m sitting there showering, naked as a jaybird and here comes Rahm Emanuel not even a towel wrapped around his tush” states Massa.  “Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man? I don’t mind talking to naked men but why politics?  Why couldn’t Emanuel and I talk about the Twilight movies?”

Massa then went on to describe how he steered the conversation away from politics.

“We started talking about food.  I asked him if he had ever eaten oysters.  He said he had.  I then asked if he had ever eaten snails.  He said no.  I asked him if he considered the eating of oysters moral but the eating of snails immoral.  He said he didn’t. I said of course not.  It’s all a matter of taste.  And taste is not the same as appetite, and therefore not a question of morals. Emanuel said it could be argued as such.  I then asked him for my robe and told him my taste includes both snails and oysters.”

Massa then went on to say how he personally likes Emanuel and wishes he had met him in the Navy.

“Ah, those were the days.  Hundreds of men enjoying each other in close quarters.  Who needs shore leave?”

Massa’s stories have many scratching their heads, wondering what was the point of the disclosures.  Some seem to feel that he is positioning himself for a run for Governor of New York.

“Andrew Cuomo is the odds on favorite to win the Democratic nomination so Massa has an uphill battle” said one consultant. “This is New York.  Look at our last two Governors. Perhaps he is playing the crazy angle, which might help him in Albany.”

Rahm Emanuel, the target of Massa’s rant has stopped speaking to him.  “He keeps sending snails to my office with little notes saying ‘Try it you’ll like it’ and ‘Once you’ve had snails you’ll never go back.’ ”

Meanwhile, Hollywood is reportedly in talks to make a movie of their shower confrontation with George Clooney playing Emanuel and 30 Rock star Alec Baldwin as Massa.

James Cameron is set to direct.  The movie will be in 3-D.


1 Comment

One Response

  1. KingShamus says:

    Rahm was a ballerina. He might like snails.

    Ooops, I mean fucking snails, retard.

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