A new element  has been discovered that promises to dramatically improve the way of life of the average caveman. “I call it ‘fire’ “ declared the beaming discoverer. Fire will warm us in winter.  It will make our food easier to eat preserving our teeth. I don’t have to tell you that cavemen dentist are […]

A talking snowman carrying a banjo and umbrella who sounds suspiciously like Burl Ives has been terrorizing local residents. “Yeah, we’re all pretty creeped out” said the local sheriff. He keeps wandering around trying to talk to the school kids.  We’d arrest him but he hasn’t technically done anything wrong.  And he sounds a lot […]

Martin Bashir has tendered his resignation to MSNBC and will no longer host his self-titled program. “It’s true.  I will no longer be working at MSNBC” said Bashir. Upon further reflection, and after meeting with the president of MSNBC, I have tendered my resignation.  At least I think it was the president of MSNBC.  Whomever […]

With the December 1st deadline now past for the Healthcare.Gov website problems to be fixed I, like most Americans, wonder if the site has indeed been fixed and what the process was. With this in mind I was lucky enough to snag an interview with the HHS Secretary herself, Kathleen Sebelius. MI: Good afternoon Ms. Sebelius. […]

It is Tuesday here at the Worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel.  Fridays are usually slow days.  Mondays are filled with vomiting and calling up the methadone clinic begging for some free smack. Tuesdays are mellow free smack day.  And filled with free smack and feeling mellow and groovy I now present for my readers their […]

  With rising divorce rates approaching 40 percent, the Norwegian government has stepped in to help its citizens through the crisis. “It is important to find small pockets of time where parents can be lovers” said Solveig Horne, minister for children, equality and social inclusion. Without physical passion marriage risks becoming, well, marriage.  Try redistributing […]

It’s not often that I get a request from a celebrity to use the pages of my blog to make an announcement.  But today I have that honor as noted thespian William Devane has asked to address my readers.  Take it away Mr. Devane. Hi.  I’m William Devane and I see the world in financial […]

In a groundbreaking move today the Environmental Protection Agency declared that human beings are a contaminant on Earth. “The science is settled.  The evidence is overwhelming” declared EPA administrator Gina McCarthy. Unless personkind is eliminated the world will be a unlivable polluted hellhole before long.  Time is running out.  We must take action.  Mother Earth […]

The roll-out of the new al Qaeda website  (www.alqaedahealthcare.gov) has caused much consternation and embarrassment for its leaders. Reports of website crashes and members either not being able to sign up or losing their coverage are legion, resulting in plummeting poll numbers for Ayman al-Zawahiri and forcing him to hold an unprecedented press conference as […]

With Thanksgiving approaching in a few weeks many may be seeking places to take a vacation. May I take this opportunity to suggest the beautiful state of New Mexico?  New Mexico has much to offer:  natural beauty, scenic drives and  pre-Colombian ruins.  And with that in mind I now present my personal guide to the […]