We hav vays of forcing you to give up your sovereignty!

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing someone who has long been a leader, indeed some would argue THE leader on the world stage, Germany’s very own Angela Merkel.

MI: Good afternoon Chancellor Merkel.

AM: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.

MI: You were recently quoted as saying that all European nations must compromise and give up their sovereignty to Brussels in order to establish a pan-European state.

AM: Yes. This is true. All the smaller, less-powerful nations in Europe must give up their sovereignty to Brussels and the European Union. And by Brussels and the European Union I of course mean Germany.

MI: Germany historically does have a habit of asking smaller nations to give up their sovereignty. And by asking I mean invading.

[Pause]

MI: Chancellor Merkel?

AM: It’s for their own good!

MI: Their own good?

AM: Yes. Under the benevolent gaze of the fatherland all of Europe will be united in peace and harmony.

MI: All of Europe. Even France?

AM: France has always been our friend and ally.

MI: What about the Franco-Prussian war?  

AM: We won that.

MI: I see.

AM: Kicked their little French asses to the curb.

MI: World War I? World War II?

AM: I don’t wish to discuss those.

MI: Why not? Why don’t you want to discuss those wars.

AM: SHUT THE HELL UP. JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THOSE WARS!

MI: Wow. You seem quite angry and bitter.

AM: You would be too if you started two neat world wars and neither one panned out as you wanted.

MI: Neither one panned out?

AM: That’s why we came up with the European Union scam. It’s just a way for us to dominate Europe without having to go to the trouble and expense of bombing, invading and killing the smaller countries.

MI: I guess that makes sense. What about Great Britain? With Brexit will they be a part of the peaceful Pax Germanica on the European continent?

AM: The British?  Damn warm-beer swilling, gap-toothed pansies. Let them go. We still haven’t forgiven them for sinking the Bismarck. You’re American, are you not?

MI: Yes.

AM: We shot down Glenn Miller. That was fun.

MI: Right. Well –

AM: Ve hav ways of making your give up your sovereignty.

MI:  I had better be going.

AM: Hey American. Why doesn’t Donald Trump return my phone calls?

MI:  I, I don’t know.

AM: Oh god I love him so!  I love him and I am ashamed.

MI: I’ll just be going now.

AM: Tell him that I, Angela Merkel, keep a photo of him by my bed. I love him!  Oh god I love him so!  Please tell him to call me!

[Merkel starts weeping]

MI:Right. Bye.

And so ended my interview with the leader of Europe, indeed some say the leader of the entire free world.

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