Totally a Trump supporter

In the wake of the tragic shooting over the weekend at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania many have wondered what were the shooter’s motivations?  While others in the mainstream media have speculated only I have traveled to the hospital where Robert Bowers is recovering from his bullet wounds to ask the shooter directly. What follows is my interview which I totally did not make up.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. Bowers.

RB: Are you a Jew?

MI: No sir I am not.

RB: Then I will talk to you. I’ll tell you everything you want to know. Fire away.

MI: Very well. Why did you shoot up the synagogue?

RB: I couldn’t sit by and let my people be slaughtered by kikes. I know the optics look bad but I had to go in.

MI: I see. Tell me how long have you known Donald Trump?

RB: What? I’ve never met the man

MI: Okay by “I’ve never met the man” what you really mean is that you’ve been in close contact with him and he ordered you to kill Jews?

RB: No that’s not what I mean. I’ve never met the man, I’m not in contact with him and he did not order me to kill Jews.

MI: Okay when you say “I’ve never met the man, I’m not in contact with him and he did not order me to kill Jews” you are implying that you were in secret contact with the President and he colluded with you to shoot up the synagogue?

RB: What the hell is wrong with you?  Are you listening to what I’m saying?  I’m not a fan of Donald Trump. I did not vote for him. He’s a globalist surrounded by kikes. I despise the man.

MI: I see. So when he told you to shoot up the synagogue did he leave it up to you how many to kill or did he give you a specific number?

RB: He didn’t give me any number! I never spoke to him. I do not like the man and I shot everyone at the synagogue because I wanted to!

[Pause]

MI:  Look pal, I’m trying to help you. Just tell me Donald Trump told you to do it and all will be forgiven. If you just say that you’ll have many allies in the press. And right now you need as many allies as possible.

RB: I can’t say that. It’s not the truth. I may be a murderous anti-Semite but I’m not a full of shit reporter.

MI: This is your last chance.

RB: F*ck off.

[Manhattan Infidel removed the tubes from Robert Bowers’s arm, blocking the pain killers from entering his body]

RB: What are you doing? Stop that!

MI: Just tell me what I want to know and this will all be over. Donald Trump ordered you to kill Jews.

RB: Why would he do that?  His son-in-law is a kike. That’s one of the many reasons I hate him.

MI: Alright you asked for it pal!

[Manhattan Infidel begins to smother Bowers with his pillow]

MI: I have a f*cking narrative to fill and you’re not helping. Tell me Donald Trump ordered you to kill Jews! Tell me or so help me I’ll smother you to death right here right now you son of a bitch!

RB: Help! I can’t breathe!

[Bowers goes into cardiac arrest and dies]

As you can see Bowers tragically died of his injuries while I was interviewing him. We may never know his motive but there is one thing we can all be sure of: Donald Trump, who is literally Hitler, ordered Bowers to kill as many Jews as possible.

I, Manhattan Infidel, a member of the Mainstream Media, have reported this. That means my narrative is true.

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