An Open Letter from the Democratic National Committee

The Democratic Socialists of America want you!







With the crucial mid-terms just two weeks away I was contacted by the Democratic National Committee and asked if I would share a message from them with my readers. Naturally I was quite happy drunk to do as they asked.

So without further adieu I now present a critical message from your masters at the DNC:

Comrades the hour to wash away our national capitalistic dishonor and to liberate ourselves has come.  Everyone must rise up and launch attacks against the Republicans and their white privilege and topple the traitorous, capitalistic, Russian-colluding government of Donald Trump.

We must set up at once a revolutionary government, build various revolutionary socialistic forces and international organizations guided by the United Nations.

Punish and arrest all the cruel lackeys of Republicanism and Trumpism. Punish them. Get in their faces.

Help the Revolutionary Democratic Socialistic forces fulfill their duties.

We exhort the officers, soldiers and police forces of the Republican regime to side with the masses of the Democratic Socialist people and give their arms and ammunition to duly authorized Democratic Socialists to be burned.  (For once the Democratic Socialists come to power the state shall vanish and there will be no need of guns.)

We exhort all those who have gone astray to Republicanism and capitalism to wake up! 

Those who recognize their faults and confess them to the Democratic Socialists will be forgiven by the Revolutionary Democratic Socialist guard.

Those who bitterly cling to their guns and resist the Democratic Socialists shall be duly punished.

Comrades, we want to be delivered from capitalistic slavery and the dictatorial and ruthless regime of the Orange One.

We do not want unemployment and bankruptcy.  The Democratic Socialists promise full employment and wage equality.

We are determined to achieve our goals at any cost.

Let’s go forward to the triumph of Democratic Socialism together!

The Revolution will certainly be crowned with success! All you have to do is vote for your local Democratic Socialist candidate. Vote once. Vote often. Get your relatives to vote. Get the dead to vote.

El día de la muerte socialista demócrata is at hand!

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.

The modern bourgeois Republican capitalistic society has not done away with class antagonisms. It has but established new classes, new conditions of oppression, new forms of struggle in place of the old ones.

Long live a Socialistic Democratic United States of America under the authority of the United Nations!

Well, that certainly seems like a benign letter.  Certainly it’s in keeping with American traditions. I guess it’s true what they say: Death, taxes and socialism are inevitable. Might as well sit back and enjoy it.



2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Hail the Revolution!

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