Activist Pretty Certain He’s Annoyed About Something

What do we want? To be annoyed! When do we want it? That question annoys us!








Local area resident Adam N., a self-described “Lifestyle and Gender Activist” has announced on his Twitter feed that he is very annoyed. He just hasn’t found out what he wants to be annoyed about yet.

“From my earliest days I have always felt annoyed and discontented” said the professional activist.

I just wanted to scream at people and hit them with the “Hey ho, racism has got to to” sign I was always carrying. My mother told me I was probably just constipated and that it was affecting my mood. “Try eating some fruits and vegetables for a change” she said.  “All that cheese you eat is backing your plumbing up.” I of course didn’t buy her glib explanation. She was just trying to stop me from pursuing a career as an activist. She wanted me to get a job in corporate America. Capitalism is evil I always told her. And if I weren’t living in her basement rent free I’d probably have to pay for rent and food. Like I said, capitalism is racist.

Dropping out of high school to devote himself full-time to activism, Adam spent all his waking hours writing slogans on signs and deciding what he wanted to be annoyed about.

There is so much to choose from in this racist, sexist, misogynistic, capitalist, war-like country that is America. At first I thought I would become a professional native American sacred land activist. I even went up to North Dakota to protest an oil pipeline. But then the native Americans kicked me out. They said I was littering on their sacred land. And they seemed annoyed by my attempts to start a drum circle. So I left.  That’s when I decided that I was most annoyed by gender binaryism and the discrimination that comes from it.

However his gender binaryism activism was short-lived.

I showed up at this elementary school to give a lecture on the 31 scientifically recognized genders and I had one boy and girl come to the front of the class for show and tell. I had them both drop their pants. I was shocked that the girl still had her vagina. I started yelling at her “You’re ten years old!  Why do you still have that female thingy! Haven’t you started male hormones yet?” I pointed to the boy’s penis and said “Not all girls have vaginas. You won’t become empowered until you get one of these!” She just cried like she didn’t understand.

Banned from all school property the activist retreated back to his mother’s basement where he spends his time thinking of protest slogans.

“I want to put them all down on placards but Amazon hasn’t delivered my placard order yet. That’s it! I’ll protest Amazon. But not until I get my delivery.


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