Manhattan Infidel Presents: My Exclusive Interview with Big Bird!

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Let’s get it on!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This past week one of the groundbreaking characters in children’s television retired. I of course and referring to Big Bird. I had the pleasure to sit down with him to talk about his career.

MI: Good afternoon Big Bird.

BB: Pleasure to be here.

MI: Wow. Where to begin. Generations of children have grown up watching you. Families watch you. It must be quite the honor to be so important to so many generations.

BB: It is an honor. I’m very humbled.

MI: What will you miss most about being Big Bird?

BB: I’d have to say the sex.

MI: Um. What?

BB: I said I’m going to miss the sex. All of it. All of the promiscuous sex. Every day. 

MI: Um. 

BB: I tell you Trump was right. When you’re famous you can just grab ’em by the pussy and they’ll let you do it.

MI: I see.

BB: I lived the rock and roll lifestyle. So many groupies. So much anonymous sex.

MI: Can we talk about –

BB: I used to have sex on the set. Between takes I’d go to my dressing room with a MILF. Oh the passion.  MILF’s have a lot of pent up sexual energy to release. Sometimes I’d barely be able to finish a take because my knees would be so weak from the BJs I was getting in my dressing room.

MI: Okay.  This wasn’t what I was expecting you to talk about.

BB: Did I tell you about the time I was shooting up with Eric Clapton? There we were, needles dangling out of our arms and he says “Hey, you want to share George Harrison’s wife?” Yeah I said. That sounds like a great idea. So she comes over. I tell you we passed her back and forth like a bag of potato chips.

MI: I’d like to change the subject.

BB: You know I had Tiffany and Debbie Gibson at the same time. They were both underage so I couldn’t brag about it. Not in public anyway. But yeah. I had them both. Tiffany was better with her mouth but Debbie had that sweet, sweet ass.

MI: Okay I’m getting very uncomfortable here.

BB: You would think with all this sex I’d get a lot of venereal diseases. But only a few. I remember one time I had to travel to Europe to get my penis industrially steam cleaned.  I was gone from Sesame Street for a couple weeks. They told the public I was on a personal journey of enlightenment. Really it was all about de-cruding my penis.

MI: I really should go.

BB: I was into trannies before they were cool. I pride myself on that.

MI: I really really have to go. I have to take a long hot shower. With bleach.

[Manhattan Infidel runs away]

BB: Jeesh. What a prude.

I guess we really don’t know what our heroes are like when the camera is off.

(14)

2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Infidel, that was most disturbing. But hey, Sesame Street for ya.

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