My Exclusive Interview with New York Governor Andrew Cuomo

Andrew Cuomo was never that great!







Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing His Honor Andrew Cuomo, the governor of the great state of New York.

MI:  Good afternoon Governor Cuomo

AC:  Who the hell are you?

MI:  I’m Manhattan Infidel.

AC:  Manhattan Infidel was never that great.

MI: I happen to agree with you but I think my three two one readers would disagree.

AC:  You suck.

MI:  Okay.

AC:  You really suck.

MI: Yes you’ve made your Point. Anyway I want to talk to you about your recent

comments at a rally. You said that, and I’m quoting, “America was never that


There were audible gasps from your supporters in the audience. Do you care to follow

up or explain your comments?

AC:  America sucks. It’s racist. Look at me. I’m an immigrant. I’m undocumented.

And my path to success has been blocked by the white man.

MI:  Um. You’re the son of Mario Cuomo. Former governor of New York. You grew up

in privilege.


MI:  Mr. Governor?

AC:  You suck.

MI: [Sigh]  Back to your comments.

AC:  You sucky suck suck suck.

MI: Okay.

AC: Sucky sucky suck suck.

MI: Look – 

ACYou were never that great.

MI: Okay if  you’re not going to talk to me then I’ll just have my lunch.

[Manhattan Infidel proceeds to eat his lunch of potatoes and ham steak]

MI:  Mm. These potatoes are delicious.

AC:  Potatoes were never that great.

MI: I have to disagree. It’s all in the seasoning. I know a woman who seasons them

just right and they are delicious.

AC:  Potatoes suck. Sucky suck suck suck!

MI: We’ll have to agree to disagree. Now onto the ham steaks.

AC: Ham steaks were –

MI: Never that great. Yes. I know. Again we’ll have to agree to disagree.  Now onto

my dessert – cherry frosted Pop Tarts.

AC:  Cherry Frosted Pop Tarts were never that great.


MI: What did you say?

AC: I said cherry frosted Pop Tarts were never that great!

[Manhattan Infidel lunges at Andrew Cuomo]

MI:  Take it back you son of a bitch!

[The two grapple on the floor}

AC: Ow. Not my area. Leave my area alone!

MI: Your area was never that great.

AC:  That’s what my ex-wife said.

MI: Now take it back. Take it back. Cherry frosted Pop Tarts are fantastic!

[Manhattan Infidel shoves cherry frosted Pop Tarts into Cuomo’s mouth]

MI: Eat it!  Eat it!


Breaking news Breaking news Breaking news Breaking news Breaking news


New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has been found wandering the streets in a daze,

with remnants of cherry frosted Pop Tarts covering his mouth.

“This was a brutal attack. An attack filled with rage” said the attending ER doctor.


Still More Breaking News Still More Breaking News Still More Breaking News


New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, recently released from a hospital, has vowed

to spend the rest of his life ensuring “Pop Tart equality for all.”

“I will not rest until every man, woman and child in New York has an ample supply

of these delicious treats.”

He then said that, besides Pop Tarts, “Everything else has never been great.”



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