Somebody has to be guilty!

A milestone in Washington D.C. history was reached today as Robert Mueller’s probe into alleged Russian collusion during the 2016 election entered its 20th year.

The probe has outlasted the Trump administration, the Second American Civil War that saw Washington burned to the ground and even special prosecutor Mueller himself.

Mueller died in 2030 after choking on caviar at the Russian Tea Room.  Fortunately quick-thinking attendants rushed Mueller to the nearest hospital where Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY)

Don’t cry for me New York’s 14th congressional district

graciously agreed to have her head removed and attached to Mueller’s body so that the probe could continue.

“Much like socialism is a compassionate system that allows us to make progress” said Ocasio-Cortez-Mueller,

The continuing decades-long probe into Russian collusion into the 2016 election allows us to make progress towards a permanent blue wave. I am a socialist. And as a socialist I have generously agreed to redistribute my head onto the body of this old white man.  My brain will keep the probe alive. My synapses will take over for Roberto Muellerio and together we shall finally prove that Donald Trump colluded with the Russians to take away the election from the gringo lady in the pant suits. Muy bueno!  Muy bueno!

The probe, funded through a gracious grant by the Chubb group of insurance companies has yet to prove that Donald Trump colluded with the Russians. Indeed the last indictment was in 2031 of a low-level I.T. person on Capitol  Hill who was sentenced to 375 years in prison  for not backing up the pictures of Mueller’s cat from his hard drive.

While many, usually deplorables and other Republicans, feel that the probe should be shut down others point to the fact that the probe now employs three million people across the United States, making it the third largest employer in the country, behind only Johnny Depp and the cast of of the Walking Dead (itself in its 25th year).

Ocasio-Cortez-Mueller however has vowed to end the probe this year by finally indicting Trump.

“The Gringo Trump, he go down. Si. Si” said the charismatic future of the Democratic Party.

As to what Trump will be indicted for, rumors are swirling around DC that there is a secret tape of Trump boasting about grabbing Russian women “by the pussy.”

“What sort of person other than a colluder grabs women by the pussy?” said Nancy  Pelosi-Feinstein-Schumer, who had her head grafted onto Diane Feinstein who had both of the heads grafted onto Chuck Schumer after their deaths.

****************************************************************************************************

Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News

***************************************************************************************************

Alexandria Ocasio-Corez-Mueller announced today that she has indicted Former President Trump for colluding with the Russians during the 2016 election.

“I have no evidence. No evidence. Si. Si. But the pant suit woman said she would have me killed if I didn’t indict him.’

(166)