An icon for feminists around the world

Noted feminist hero and brave icon for women everywhere, Stormy Daniels, was fired from her job at a strip club in Chicago after running afoul of the patriarchy.

“All I want to do is have men shove money down my G-string” wept the warrior for women’s rights.

Is that too much to ask? I mean I used to let strangers stick their male member into me. On camera. For money. I was helping women everywhere by doing this. I was in charge of my own orgasm! And isn’t that what Susan B. Anthony and Rosa Parks were fighting for? But the man won’t let me do that anymore. “Stormy you’re almost 40. No one wants to see a 40 year old woman let men put their member in you when younger women are available.” Patriarchal ageism is what it is. A woman has to make a living any way she can. The patriarchy stops us every chance they get. So I’m stripping now trying to humbly make a living. And isn’t that noble?

The trouble for the noted feminist hero began when she arrived at the club in Chicago where she was scheduled to perform all weekend, letting strangers shove money down her G-string in lieu of letting strangers stick their male member inside her on camera for money.

“She wasn’t prepared at all” said the club’s owner.

She skipped rehearsals. Having men put money in your G-string is not as simple as it looks. It takes training. And rehearsals. And more rehearsals. But mainly cocaine. She was uncooperative. Didn’t want to rehearse at all. Frankly I didn’t expect this much attitude from a feminist hero like Miss Daniels. She was here years ago when she was younger. But we’ve changed the club since then. The layout is different. I’ve been in the female empowerment business, that’s what I like to call strip clubs, for over 50 years and I’ve never seen behavior as unprofessional as Miss Daniels. This isn’t about the patriarchy. It’s about respect. She didn’t respect the backup dancers. Or their cocaine. Bring your own coke next time! So that’s why I fired her. 

As for Miss Daniels, she was escorted out of the club by security and was seen by her followers in the alley shouting “No G-string! No peace!”

“Isn’t this typical of the patriarchy” said the feminist icon.

They just want me barefoot and tied to the stove. Or tied to the bed. Or tied to the sofa. And pay to penetrate me. But the laugh’s on them. I would have let them penetrate me for half of what they pay me. And that’s a fact, jack.

Before hitching a ride to a truck stop to ply her feminist trade, Miss Daniels placed the blame squarely on Donald Trump’s shoulders.

“I should have never had sex with him. For free. Without a camera or crew or multiple takes involved.  Totally ruined my life.”

What?  Would I, Manhattan Infidel, make this up? I do not traffic in fake news.

The Patriarchy fires a feminist icon!

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