My penis is an impediment to true justice!

Beloved superhero from another world, Superman, announced today that he is beginning hormone replacement therapy and expects to transition to a new “gender fluid super hero identity” within the year.

“Being a super hero and saving people has given me a unique perspective on the world” said the former SuperMAN.

I came into contact with many people and cultures of divergent viewpoints. I came to realize that being so-called “male” had no impact on my mission. Much more I came to realize that my penis was actually an impediment to true social justice. I became ashamed of my penis and I knew that If I got rid of it I would be a better superhero. Not to mention my penis sometimes creates a dangerous aerodynamic drag when I’m flying. So I’m transitioning.

The former SuperMAN then went on to relate when he became “woke” to gender fluidity.

I had just come from a party at the Bat Cave and was flying over Detroit when I became troubled with a bout of indigestion. My bowels let loose a stream of liquid poop all over Detroit. Yeah, I shit on Detroit. Fortunately it was Detroit so it was hard to tell it had been shit on or I might have been fined. Don’t let Robin cook anything for you. I don’t think he’s washing his hands before he prepares the meal. Just saying. Anyway as a stream of liquid bowel movement splashed down upon Detroit I began to think that If my bowel movements were liquid why not my gender identity? I mean do the people I’m helping really care if I have a penis or a vagina or none or both? And I believe that being gender fluid will make me a more sensitive superhero. A better superhero. A more in-touch superhero. I look forward to being Earth’s first transsexual superhero.

When asked how his transition would affect his alter ego, reporter Clark Kent, the former SuperMAN could not give an answer.

I don’t know why everyone keeps saying I’m Clark Kent. We look nothing alike. I mean the man wears glasses and I don’t! So my transition will have no affect on this Clark Kent person whoever he is. I mean I admire his writing. And he’s a very good looking guy. But for the last time I am not him. Perhaps Clark Kent has another identity. I can’t speak to that. But it’s not me. Try Batman or Aquaman. But I am not Clark Kent. He defines himself by his external genitalia. And defining oneself by one’s external genitalia is so 20th century, don’t you think.

The new gender fluid superhero then asked his fans for vagina care tips.

“How do I take care of it? The whole thing is a mystery to me. It’s like the Bat Cave only without Robin’s crappy cooking. And apparently I will have no natural lubrication. Doe anyone know of any vaginal creams I can use? Clark Kent wants to know too. Not that he’s me.”

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