My c*nt defines me

As C*ntGate continues  to draw headlines across the world attention has been focused on the word c*nt itself.

Many progressive women have asked what is wrong with being called a c*nt. Specifically they wish to reclaim the word c*nt and bring back its original meaning as a symbol of empowerment.

Sally Field, best known as the Flying Nun and former paramour of Burt Reynolds has entered the fray and has asked for c*nts usage to increase.

“I like Samantha Bee a lot, but she is flat wrong to call Ivanka a c*nt,” said the aging formerly relevant star.

C*nts are powerful, beautiful, nurturing and honest. My c*nt is very beautiful. Burt Reynolds said he’d rather spend a day with my c*nt than win an Academy Award. Imagine that! That tells you the power of the c*nt. And let’s not use watered-down phrases such as vagina, hoo-hah, tunnel of love, Dr. Scamper’s Emporium, Carpet Muncher’s Sugarwalls of Delight, Ralph Fienne’s badly burned accouterments or anything like that.  The time for euphemisms is over. We women are threatened as never before by the patriarchy.  They have taken our c*nts away from us! It is time we women stood up and said loudly and proudly “I am a c*nt!”

Miss Field then went on to talk about the reasons she feels so strongly about c*nts.

I believe men have twisted the word c*nt away from its original beautiful meaning to a perverse, shameful thing. It wasn’t always that way. I remember my father telling me many times when I was little “Sally you are such a c*nt.” He said that many times. Many, many, many times. And I grew to believe I was a c*nt. I thank my father for calling me that. He taught me very early not to be afraid of a c*nt. He taught me that I am a c*nt. Furthermore, we live in a world that has c*nts. And my c*nt, while grotesque and incomprehensible to the patriarchy, saves lives!  Conservatives can’t handle my c*nt!

Furthermore, Miss Field’s believes that only liberal, progressive women should be called c*nts.

I ask that all woman everywhere stand up in solidarity with other woman and shout “I am a c*nt. I have warmth and depth.” So let us all prove the patriarchy wrong when they defame us and say women cannot get along. All women deserve to be called c*nts. We are all in this together!  Except for conservative woman of course. They disgust me. They aren’t true women. Their c*nts are not true c*nts.

Miss Fields closed her “c*nterview” by announcing a reboot of the Flying Nun.

“It’ll be just like the original. Only I will be known as ‘Sister C*nt’ not Sister Bertrille. And I’ll be a member of the Convent of of San C*nto, not San Tanco. And Donald Trump is literally Hitler.”

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