You’re all feckless!

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing a figure much in the news lately: Late night talk show host and comedienne Samantha Bee.

MI: Good afternoon Miss Bee.

SB: You’re nothing but a feckless c*nt.

MI: Um. What?

SB: Feckless. You heard me. You’re an example of fecklessness in a feckless world.

MI: Okay. I think. Would you like some Château le Blanc?

SB: What year?

MI: ’68 of course.

[Manhattan Infidel hands Samantha Bee the Château le Blanc and she drinks it]

SB: This Château le Blanc ’68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled! This is room temperature! What do you think I am? An Animal?

[She throws the glass at Manhattan Infidel which hits him in the head]

MI: Ow. What the hell, man?

SB: You feckless c*nt!

[Laughter is heard]

MI: Where the hell is that coming from?

SB: It’s from my laugh track machine. I carry a portable one with me. That way when I say witty things like “feckless c*nt” the laugh track validates me and proves how witty I am.

MI: I see.

SB: You feckless c*nt!

[The laugh track machine goes off again]

SB:  You see!  Instant validation of my superior wit!

[Stormy Daniels enters] 

I am a hero to teenage girls everywhere

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SB: My god, it’s Stormy Daniels. A empowered female and role model for all young  women everywhere. What brings you here?

SD: I heard a laugh track and that means an audience. So I came over here to see if anyone will pay me to let strangers put their penis in my vagina.

SB: You are not a feckless c*nt you are a f*cking c*nt!  A c*nt that fucks. A c*nt that fucks for money!

[Laugh track goes off again]

SD: I know! My story should be an inspiration to all teenage girls across the United States. 

MI: Is there anything you want to say to the teenage girls of America who may be reading this interview?

SD: Believe in yourself. You can do anything. But just in case you have no other talents get implants and f*ck in front of a camera for money. One day you may meet the future president of the United States!

SB: Stormy you are not feckless. And you certainly aren’t f*ckless!

[Laugh track activates]

SB: You are an empowered feminist hero and I salute you and your money-making p*ssy!

MI: I’m sorry but how does being a porn star make you a feminist?

SB & SD: Shut up! We are tired of your patriarchy!

[Laugh track goes off]

SB: Patriarchy!  

[Laugh track goes off]

SB: I just said patriarchy twice, both times sneering condescendingly.  The laugh track proves I’m witty.

SD: I bet you’ve never f*cked on camera for money!

MI: No I haven’t actually.

SB & SD:Loser!

And so ended my interview with the very witty and superior Samantha Bee and feminist icon Stormy Daniels. What a pair of feckless c*nts!

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