Manhattan Infidel Presents the Broward County Sheriff Deputies’ Employment Exam

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18

He’s got a gun! Run!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear applicant:

Thank you for your interest in working as a deputy for the Broward County Sheriff’s Department. Being a deputy demands a willingness to serve, attention to detail and grace under pressure.  Good luck with your exam ~ Broward County Sheriff’s Office.

You see a crime being committed by a student on school property. What do you do?

  1. Confront the offender and arrest him
  2. Confront the offender and give him a stern talking to, reminding him of his rights and responsibilities as a citizen of the United States
  3. It’s close to lunch time. Ignore the offense. (Union regulations and all that)
  4. Do not report the incident. You don’t want to drive up crime statistics and jeopardize that sweet, sweet Federal cash flow

You receive a domestic disturbance call stating that a young man is causing trouble and threatened to shoot up his school

  1. Go to the residence. Ascertain if anyone is in immediate danger. Arrest the non-compliant teenager
  2. Drive by the residence. If you don’t see anything don’t report anything
  3. Turn your police radio off.  It’s lunch time. (Union regulations and all that)
  4. Think before you act. Do you really want to make this an official crime? If no one is shot then no harm no foul

You receive over 39 calls to the same residence. You have received reports that the young man is dangerous. He has been expelled from school. Students are afraid he’ll come back with a gun

  1. Be proactive. Arrest the young man on any pretext and have him institutionalized. Mental health professionals might be able to help him
  2. Drive by the residence again. Perhaps the 40th time will take and he’ll straighten up and fly right
  3. Are you crazy? Go nowhere near the home. The Feds are always watching
  4. And what good would an arrest do? It will only drive up crime stats and might harm the defendant’s self esteem

There is an active shooter at the local high school. What do you do?

  1. Enter immediately and take out the shooter before any more lives are lost. Your job is to protect and defend
  2. Wait outside until the shooting is over. There is nothing you can do
  3. Seriously.  America is a gun crazy nation and our lax gun control laws led to this tragedy
  4. The Feds are watching.  Let the Coral Springs police enter and take out the gunman. Any action on your part will have to be entered in the logs and we must keep our crime stats down

Thank you applicant for taking this test. We shall contact you if we feel you are a good fit for our force. In the meantime stay away from the high school. Some crazy might shoot it up.

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2 Comments

2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    That’s a pretty revealing exam. Have you noticed how “gun” and “run” sound weirdly similar?

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