Batman and Robin Redesign Bat Cave!

We’re going for an open floor concept









Batman and Robin, famous masked crime fighters whose true identity remains unknown, have just finished a redesign of their office commonly known as the “Bat Cave.”

“I wanted an open floor concept” said Robin.

We spend a lot of our time down in the Bat Cave. It’s cramped and there is no natural light. I wanted to fix all that. Batman wasn’t too keen on the idea at first. He thought the Bat Cave was just fine the way it was.  He’s such a man! But after I brought in my designers and they showed him what I wanted to do, massive windows, open spaces, antique doors to the entrance to the Bat Cave and gables over the entrance door he seemed to warm up to the idea.

But before any changes could be made a budget had to be agreed upon.

Batman watches our budget like a hawk. And when I explained that our “all-in” budget was $100,000 he asked me where the money was going to come from? I told him the improvements would pay for themselves down the line and not to worry about having all the money now. He told me that’s not how it works. He’s such a man!

While the Bat Cave was being redesigned all the high-tech crime-fighting equipment in the Cave had to be relocated.

We ended up putting them all in a storage locker uptown.  Who needs crime fighting computers when all City Hall has to do is light up the Bat Signal?

Once the equipment was moved and the redesign commenced it was not without complications.

“To achieve an open floor concept we had to removes some beams” said the designers Chip and Joanna.

But some of the beams were load-bearing. When I told Batman about this he snorted and said “Load bearing? Just like Robin.” And we had problems with the foundation to the Bat Cave. We opened up the floor and found three feet between the floor and the dirt below. Usually they should be kissing each other. We thought it might be a sink hole. So we brought in some engineers who took a look at it and reassured us it wasn’t. Then we gutted the entire Bat Cave. We raised the ceiling and knocked down some walls to provide an open concept. Then we painted the entire Bat Cave white. We also put in large picture windows to bring in sunlight from outside. This also gives them a nice view. This didn’t sit too well with Batman who told me they need to maintain the secrecy of the Bat Cave’s whereabouts. I countered and told him our changes would make the place brighter and more cheerful. He said that wasn’t practical. He’s such a man!

But despite Batman’s objections the renovations were made.

The only problem now for the designers Chip and Joanna is getting paid.

“Batman told us to contact Bruce Wayne at Stately Wayne manor for payment. I mean why would we do that?  Bruce Wayne and Batman are totally different people! I’d be curious to see the inside of stately Wayne Manor though. I wonder if they have an open floor concept?”


2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    You may not have noticed but Batman ends in “man.”

    Check your white privilege patriarchy at the door, Infidel!

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      Technically I’ve always felt he should be called “Manbat” not “Batman”. Batman implies he is a bat taking on the powers of a human whereas in fact he is a man drawing inspiration from bats.

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