Manhattan Infidel Presents the Missing Peter Strzok – Lisa Page Text Messages!

The FBI. Protecting America. I think.










As many people by now know FBI agent and his lover Lisa Page carried on an illicit affair while investigating so-called Russian collusion. When this came to light the FBI conveniently lost six months of messages.

Fortunately for my readers reader mother meth dealer prostitute stranger I pay to read my blog I leave no stone unturned in my desire to get the facts. So now dear readers here are some of their relevant texts. It may take me months to go through all their texts. Who knows what else I’ll discover.

Strzok:  Trump cannot win. How can Americans be so stupid?  We must come up with an insurance policy should he win.

Page:  I agree totally.  Hillary must win. Our career advancement depends on it!


The two continued to text about the election:

Strzok:  OMG!  Trump won Pennsylvania. It’s all over. He’s now the president!

Page: OMG OMG OMG!  A mouse.  I mean, yeah, f*ck Trump!


Later on election night when Trump had been officially announced the winner:

Strzok: This can’t be happening!

Page: I’m so depressed. I haven’t been so depressed since George Clooney left ER!

Strzok:  We need to talk about our insurance policy!

Page:  You mean blaming Trump’s victory on Russian collusion?

Strzok: Yes. Oh, BTW, thank you for wearing that French Maid outfit last night. It brought out the beast in me!

Page:  Just like Trump brings out the beasts and deplorables! I felt filthy and degraded. Yet so alive!


A week after the election the insurance policy was in full swing:

Strzok:  I spoke to my contacts in the media and told them about our FISA warrants and how we suspect Trump is getting Russian assistance.  No evidence of course. It’s a fairy tale. But the media is more than happy to report it. They are our friends.

Page:  Good.  Excellent in fact. You can always trust the media to do what’s best for the deep state.

Strzok:  Sorry about last night. Usually I think about baseball but sometimes I just finish a little early, you know.

Page:  Maybe my Catholic school girl outfit got you too excited?

Strzok: No. it’s my prostate. Doc says it’s the size of Texas.

Page: Oh dear. That’s distressing. Almost as distressing as President Trump!


A few months later as Mueller was appointed Special Prosecutor the two revel in their victory:

Strzok:  Now we got Trump. He took on the deep state. The deep state shall finish him!

Page: I’m so excited. He will be impeached and Hillary will be president!

Strzok:  Yeah. Can we talk about my suggestion from last night?

Page: I am not having a threesome with you and your wife.

Strzok: It doesn’t have to be with my wife. Or a woman. Or even a human. Have you ever looked at sheep and wanted to rub up against them?

Page:  ……………………….

Strzok:  Hello? Honey?

Page: Don’t ever text me again.

Strzok:  Baby I’m sorry. I won’t ask again. It’s just this Trump presidency. It has me so upset.  Please baby.  Come over and wear your French Maid outfit again!

Page: Well, I shouldn’t but I forgive you. I know that bastard Trump has us all upset.

Strzok: I love you baby.  BTW, are you curious about furry sex?

Page:  Goodbye.

Strzok:  It’s Trump baby. It’s all his fault! Hello? Talk to me! I’m taking prostate medicine.


Who knows what else I’ll discover as I read the rest of the texts. Because uncovering the truth is what I do best. That and sending pictures of my penis to coeds.  What?  I mean Trump has me so upset!



2 Responses

  1. LSP says:


    Don’t say Samsung the Dog ate your texts.

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