Porky Pig’s Career in Tatters; Latest Victim of #Metoo Movement!

Would you like to see my genitalia?











Porky Pig has been dropped by the Creative Artists Agency (CAA) after allegations of serial sexual harassment and outright assault against the venerable pig.

“He assaulted me. He sexualized me. He raped me!” claims one actress.

I was new in Hollywood and looking for work. Someone suggested I look up Porky Pig.  “Just go to his hotel room and talk to him” they said. So I made an arrangement for a meeting and went to his hotel. When he opened the door to his room he was wearing a blue jacket and a red bow tie.  AND NOTHING ELSE! I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. He invited me in and said “Why d-d-d-d-on’t you p–p-p-p-pour yourself a d-d-d-d-rink?” He then put his leg up on an ottoman so I had a clear view of his penis. “We’re g-g-g-g-g-gonna have f-f-f-fun” he said. I wanted nothing to do with him. I trusted him and here he is propositioning me for sex. I ran out of his room crying and got out of there as fast as possible.

Another actress claims Porky pulled her into his hotel room, pressed himself up against her and forced her to do “Kinky shit I haven’t even seen on Cinemax.”

We had dinner. Then he insisted I go back to his hotel room to talk about a movie he thought I’d be good for. We go there and the next thing I know his tongue was down my throat. That was bad enough but then he said “You and m-m-m-m-me are g-g-g-g-g-going to d-d-d-d-do some freaky s-s-s-s-s-s-shit together. Make me s-s-s-s-s-s-squeal like a p-p-p-p-p-p-pig.” What a pig! Is this how all men act in Hollywood? If so then I’m going back to pole dancing at clubs in Pennsylvania. At least there the men are honorable and won’t touch my vagina unless they tip me first.

Indeed many are now saying that Porky’s behavior was an open secret in Hollywood.

“Everybody knew” said one person.

Everybody had heard the rumors. “Don’t be alone with Porky. He’s a pig!” “Don’t go to his hotel room alone.” Stuff like that. The smart actresses knew to avoid him. But this business is so cutthroat and competitive many will ignore the warnings if they think it will land them a movie role. I feel sorry for girls like that.

Many blame Porky’s behavior on his deep-seated self-loathing.

“I mean the guy was Jewish” said a friend.

His real name is Porkel Pigenstein. Yet he’s also a pig. I mean literally a pig. That’s quite the contradiction. He must have to live with a lot of cognitive dissonance to survive. How he must hate himself. I know he wasn’t popular in the Jewish community. They though he was unclean. His own family wouldn’t talk to him. No matter how successful he was this must have hurt. 

As for Porky he remains defiant and insists he has done nothing wrong.

“Why don’t you all j-j-j-j-j-j-just s-s-s-s-s-s-suck my d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dick” said the disgraced Pig.


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