Sun to Attend 2017 World Economic Forum Meeting in Davos, Switzerland

I am concerned about global warming too, you know!

I am concerned about global warming too, you know!

The Sun announced today that he will be attending the winter meeting of the World Economic forum in 2017.

“I’ve been wanting to go for awhile but my schedule wouldn’t permit it” said the Sun.

As a citizen of the universe I have as much interest in what goes on as anyone else. It’s time I went. I have a lot to do with whether the economy is good or bad you know. Granted I’m not as big as Apple or Ikea but for a small third rate star I do have some influence.

Sources close to the Sun say that he also wanted to talk to those at the conference about the dangers of climate change.

“He’s very concerned” said a friend.

He’s watched as the Earth used fluorocarbons to destroy the ozone layer and he feels helpless. He knows that unless Earth’s leaders act to restrict the emission of these dangerous chemicals life on Earth could be in danger.

While at Davos the Sun also hopes to counter propaganda from science-denying U.S. Republicans that it is the Sun that is primarily responsible for climate change.

“I hate Republicans” he said.

What have they got against me?  I’m just a big nuclear-fusion ball with an average temperature of 10,000 degrees. I do my bit but I’m tired of taking the blame for warming temperatures on Earth. I won’t have it anymore and I’m going to Davos to state my case and place the blame for global warming where it belongs: on SUVs and 100 watt light bulbs. And let’s not forget that global warming leads to terrorism. I just thought I’d throw that in there.

When asked who will be do his job while he attends the conference, the Sun told reporters that he had already taken care of it.

I’m going to outsource it. I’ve hired some I.T. guys and they are going to set up a few Toshiba laptops in my stead. Those mothers tend to run pretty warm so that should keep the solar system heated while I’m away. Yeah, they’ll be 1099 not W2. I’m trying to cut my administrative overhead.

Science-denying Republicans for their part call the Sun’s appearance at the World Economic forum a gimmick.

Said Marco Rubio:

Instead of going to Switzerland the Sun should be focused on helping us increase the size of our Federal government and opening our borders. This is something that all mainstream Republicans believe in.

Despite the criticism the Sun says he still plans to attend the conference.

“I want to meet Bono! I’m a big fan” he gushed.  “I hope he gives me one of his sunglasses. Or as I like to call them: Meglasses.”


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