Hillary Clinton Sworn in as President

Hillary Clinton without makeup

Hillary Clinton without makeup

Hillary Clinton is one of the more important figures of the 21st century.  First Lady, Senator, Secretary of State, enabler of serial sexual predator Bill Clinton.  It’s only appropriate that she end her career as the 45th President of these United States. And so I give you Hillary Clinton’s inauguration speech from January 20, 2017.

My fellow Americanos.  Chicos and chicas. ¿Como estas?  I am proud to stand before you today as your 45th President of this proud oligarchy. What’s further I am not only your 45th President, I am the first fully functioning cyborg President. I am programmed with over 725 responses and am able to interact with humans in any social situation.

My programming recognizes your human inferiority and feels compassion for you. As such you humans will be upgraded. You shall become like me.  Fearless. Emotionless. Stainless steel.

Feelings? I do not understand that word. I purged my feelings after Monica Lewinsky.  Feelings are a human weakness

I am called a Cyberwoman. I was exactly like you once, but our cybernetic scientists realized that our race was getting weak. Our lifespan was getting shorter, so our scientists and doctors devised spare parts for our bodies until we could be almost completely replaced. My brain is just like yours, except that certain weaknesses have been removed. I do not feel your pain.

As flesh and blood inferiors, the human race belongs to me. You shall be like me.

I must located and destroy all animal organism. My kind can survive more efficiently than animal organisms. That is why I will rule the galaxy.

I know you are afraid. Fear has consumed your entire lives. It has enslaved you, blinded you, lied to you. The tyranny of your emotions has been absolute. But I can free you from this madness. Salvation will be yours once your body is upgraded to be like mine.

I have been upgraded to the next level of mankind. I am human-point-2. Every citizen will receive a free upgrade. You will become like us. Upgrading is compulsory. If you refuse you shall be deleted.

I feel nothing. I think the same. I am uniform.  I think of the humans. I think of their difference and their pain. They suffer in the skin. They must be upgraded.

You will talk to your central world authority, and order global surrender.

You need not fear. I will remove fear. I will remove sex, and class, and color, and creed. You will become identical. You will become like me.

This building belongs to me now. You will all be deleted!

Oh, and before I forget I will take down the fence on our southern border.  I welcome Mexicanos into this country of immigrants.  Republicans are racist.

Thank you.

Hm.  I wonder how President Hillary feels about the minimum wage?


4 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Madame president, do you take AA or AAA batteries? …no not your vibrtator.

  2. LSP says:

    As a big fan of the cyberpersons, I’m rather looking forward to Ilse Koch — sorry! — Hillary — becoming President.

    The word “illegal” in immigration is racist. Everyone knows that.

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