Cavemen Worried About Climate Change

Climate change ruin Og's way of life.

Climate change ruin Og’s way of life.

From the front steps of his cave Og looks out and sees the same thing every day: Ice retreating.

“Og worried about climate change” he said anxiously.

For the past decade the ice that Og and his fellow cavemen had depended on to find trapped food has retreated as temperatures rise.

Many of the cavemen blame themselves.

“Cavemen have large carbon footprint” said a leader of the group of cavemen who favor strong intervention by the caveman government to halt the disastrous temperature change.

Using their majority support they have passed certain controversial measures including limiting big game hunting and the elimination of high-flush toilets.

But despite these measures the climate continues to change.

“Og no understand.  Og no have flush toilet anymore.  Og dig hole and shit in it.  Still ice recede.”

Og then went on to recite the many health hazards he has experienced from the receding ice.

Grass cut Og’s feet. Og bleed.  Og’s wife no sympathetic. She laugh and withhold wifely duties. Og get angry and drink. When Og drink he get fat.

Still despite the evidence of receding ice in front of them many cavemen doubt the existence of caveman caused climate change. Many cavemen of the less scientific type believe that the ball of fire in the sky might have something to do with the global warming.  These so called “climate deniers” are shunned by the more advanced and educated cavemen.

Despite the ostracism from his fellow cavemen Og remains skeptical.

Og just one caveman.  Not responsible for ice going away.  Ball of fire in sky heat the earth. It is responsible. Og think cavemen elite are jerks.

The faction of cavemen who favor the theory of cavemen anthropomorphic global warming also have instituted a ban on hair products.

Og’s wife now look ridiculous. Hair all over place.  Even under arms. Now Og not so upset she withhold wifely duties.

With his ice-dependent way of life dying Og plans to travel north to follow the ice flow.

Og maybe go up to Canada.  Have cousin there. He say it’s always cold.  He ice road caveman.  Og get job with him. Og not take wife. Get younger wife in Canada who has better hair and give me wifely duties.

Og will not be alone on the trek northward as many cavemen climate change doubters will be with him.

“Og find better life in Canada. And get some on trail. Og like having wifely duties performed on him.”

Og’s soon to be ex wife could not be reached for comment.

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2 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    So Mrs Og still cold despite global warming…hmmm

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