Black Lives Matter Protesters Interrupt Black Lives Matter Protest

Get out of our way!

Get out of our way!

Chaos reigned on the streets today as a mostly peaceful protest for Black Lives Matter was interrupted by a competing Black Lives Matter protest.

As the mostly peaceful protesters marched down Broadway overturning cars and setting the Irish on fire while chanting “Hey Ho Racism Has Got to Go!” they were met with a competing branch of Black Lives Matter protesters marching up Broadway and chanting “Fight the Power” and setting the Chinese on fire.

The two mostly peaceful groups of protesters stopped as they came within sight of each other.

The group that had been marching down Broadway and setting the Irish on fire demanded that the group marching up Broadway and setting the Chinese on fire let them pass.

“Our black lives matter than your black lives!” said the head of the group.

We are the real Black lives that matter!  Not you fake muthas! You’re working for the man  Get out of our way or we will shoot you!”

Undaunted by the group marching down Broadway the group marching up Broadway also demanded that the other group let them pass.

Our lives are the only ones that matter. Get your muthf*cking asses out of our way or we will kill you!

With neither willing to concede shots rang out as two groups began fighting with each other.

As New Yorkers watched in horror black men were shot, stabbed and beaten in full daylight. Thousands of grateful Irish and Chinese ran from the scene as their heretofore attackers turned on themselves.

Police stood on the sidelines not willing to interfere as the competing Black Lives Matter protesters killed each other.

“Look, I should stop them but that would be racist” said a cop.

Word of the mostly peaceful rioting and shootings attracted the media.

“As you can see this Black Lives Matter protest has been infiltrated by fake black men” said MSNBC’s Chris Matthews.

I don’t know who these fake black men could be.  Republicans probably. Republicans disguised as black men.  Or Puerto Ricans paid by Republicans to disguise themselves as black men to kill other black men.  Either way the fault lies with George Bush!

Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was flown in to speak to the mostly peaceful rioters.

“As a white man from Vermont I share your sufferings” said the popular socialist.

Once at a Starbucks in Brattleboro I was given a cappuccino instead of a mocha latte.  And I was filled with rage.  I wanted to tear down that Starbucks.  But did I give into my baser feelings?  No I channeled it and did something productive instead.  I raised taxes on the wealthy to assuage my pain.  So I ask you dear black people, let me help you!

Sanders then waded into the crowd. This was the last anyone saw of him alive as the protesters converged on him. His body was torn limb from limb and his head mounted on top of a taxi.

“Look they’ve redistributed Bernie’s head” said one onlooker.

Eventually as the mostly peaceful protesters succeeded in killing each other the public disturbance ended.

Mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr, (stage name Bill De Blasio) announced that sanitation workers would be paid overtime as they cleaned the bodies off the streets.

This is a union town and my union employees will be paid maximum to clean up the riots caused by Republicans.

A spokesperson for Black Lives Matter announced that they will not be intimidated by the violence of the white man and their next protest is planned at an elementary school’s Kindergarten graduation ceremony.

“Kindergarten equals white man’s privilege” said the person who answered the phones at Black Lives Matter headquarters.


2 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    The MLK day parade should be a bloodbath.

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