My Exclusive Interview with Children’s Television Personality Bob the Builder

You won't believe how much sex I get

You won’t believe how much sex I get

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing Bob the Builder.

MI: Good morning Bob the Builder.

BB: Good day to you Manhattan Infidel.  It’s always a pleasure to meet people. Say, your office is kind of run down. Can I build you a new one.

MI: First off this isn’t my office.  It’s a Burger King.  I asked to meet you here because I was recently evicted from my office.

BB: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.  I’m always sorry to hear when bad things happen to good people.

MI: Thanks.  Um, just out of curiosity how much would I have to pay you to build me a new office?

BB: I can do it for 50,000 thousand plus benefits.

MI: I guess I’ll have to pass.  Anyway let’s talk about sex.  Specifically your sex life.  Recently Goedele Likens, an advisor to the UN on sexual health suggested that parents shouldn’t be afraid to talk to their kids about sex.  Since children watch your show she suggested they use you as an example.

BB:  Hey, I’m more than happy to talk about my sex life.

MI:  Really, well I wouldn’t want to get too personal or –

BB: Wendy lets me do her up the ass.  And sometimes I let her use a strap on and do me.  

My two pussies

My two pussies

MI: Whoa, well –

BB: Do you think a guy like me who reeks of the masculine scent of sex isn’t getting it anytime and anywhere he can?

MI: Okay let’s get back to discussing sex with children.

BB: I don’t do children.  Though some of the groupies who hang out backstage look pretty young. Fourteen or fifteen I’d say.  But they all want a piece of Bob the Builder.  I take them back to my place, slip them some pills and then f*ck them in the ass.

MI: Wait a minute.  This was not what I wanted to talk about.  I wanted to talk about parents using your show as an example on how to talk to their children about sex.

BB: You know when I’m doing those groupies in the ass Wendy watches. Sometimes she joins in.

MI: Um.

BB: I’m a sex addict. Like Bob Crane.  And I’m good at it.  Anytime, anyplace, any combination.  It doesn’t matter.  I like the thrill.  I have sex two, three times a day. Usually consensual.  

MI: Lets – 

BB: I like sex in public. With men.  I hang around public restrooms looking for action.

MI: I really should end this interview.

BB: Why?

MI: I don’t know.  I’m feeling sleepy.  Wait.  Did you put anything in my Pepsi?

BB: Relax. I’m Bob the Builder.  This won’t hurt a bit.

I woke up in an alley without my pants.  The word “whore” was written in magic marker on my ass.  I hate Bob the Builder. I have to go take a shower now and try to forget this ever happened.


2 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Stop complaining; surely Bob used a brand name friction modifier.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    You never know with those Hollywood types. I think he likes it raw.

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>