Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Updated {Updated} {Updated} {Updated} Kennedy Malfeasance Template™

I'm a Kennedy. Google me bitch!

I’m a Kennedy. Google me bitch!

Once again, as they have proved time and time again, America’s royal family, the Kennedys, have been generous enough to provide Manhattan Infidel with fodder to write about.  So rather than keep you waiting let’s get right at it.

Kyra Kennedy, the 19-year-old daughter of environmental scam artist and former heroin addict Robert Kennedy Jr was recently refused entry to a nightclub because she was under age. When security guards would not let her in she allegedly yelled:

  1. My mistake.  I am underage.  Please forgive me.
  2. You won’t let me in?  I understand. You are only doing your job.  Let us shake hands and part as friends
  3. I’m a Kennedy.  Google me bitch!
  4. You better let me in to this nightclub. You don’t want an intoxicated Kennedy driving home at night do you?

Kyra attempted to enter the nightclub with her 26-year-old half sister’s passport. The security guard at the club took the passport and asked her what her birthday was. Ms. Kennedy attempted to google the answer but was unable to discover it.  Why?

  1. Obviously there is a lot of material about the Kennedy’s on the internet.  Cut the girl some slack
  2. She would have found the information if only the working class security guard would leave her alone.  I mean doesn’t he know who I am?
  3. Perhaps the WiFi connection was poor
  4. The first 1000 entries for Kennedy all started “Police seek to question…..”

The security guard then refused to hand the passport back and gave it to the hotel staff.  Ms. Kennedy responded by:

  1. Contemplating her actions and asking herself if perhaps she had done something wrong and was acting like a spoiled brat
  2. Made an immediate mental note to go to confession the first chance she got
  3. In a drunken rage screamed at hotel staff to give her the passport back
  4. Drove off a bridge

After driving off a bridge and landing in water, Ms. Kennedy:

  1. Made sure the other passengers in the car got out first
  2. Drowned the other passengers to ensure they wouldn’t talk
  3. Tattered and wet, went back to the nightclub and offered the security guard her father’s heroin if he would let her in
  4. Used her father’s heroin to forget the pain of being royalty

Witnesses report Ms. Kennedy saying what exactly to hotel staff?

  1. I am mortified by my actions.  Please accept my apology
  2. This has never happened before.  At least not this week
  3. I’m just a 19-year-old entitled, unaccomplished member of America’s royalty. That’s bound to mess up your head
  4. Google me!  I’m a Kennedy. Governor Cuomo will be calling.  And he’s in the Mafia you know!

And there you have it.  The latest from America’s royal family.  (Not to be confused with the Clintons who are America’s other royal family.)

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One Response

  1. Petermc3 says:

    There is no truth to the rumor she is dating former Senator Dodd; she’s merely rolling his doobies.

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