Spam I am.

Who doesn’t love Spam?  Spam between consenting adults is still legal in most states. (Thank God those right-wing Republicans and their family values haven’t triumphed!)

And so without further delay enjoy the consensual spam edition.

Louboutin Pour Homme writes:

Sometimes close my eyes.

I get that a lot from women.  Something about the “shame” of being with me.

Jiuexmetd writes:

Fine lines, wrinkles and sagging skin.

That’s probably why the women close their eyes when they are with me.  I mean, you would think a prostitute would be more professional.

Louboutin Pas Cher Femme writes:

Poke open a hole first.

Whatever floats your boat pal.  Personally, I’m not into virgins.  Too messy.

Lucretia writes:

A person should be conscious.

Ideally, yes.  But if an opportunity presents itself, go for it.

Truch Clash of Clans writes:

My younger sister is analyzing herself.

May I watch?  Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of.  As a blogger I’m an expert in this field.

Keli Kaarlela writes:

Remarkably descriptive!

I like to be explicit. Were you turned on?  Maybe I can call you?

Turkish Zash writes:

That increases your risk of getting a disease.

But I can’t feel anything when I wear a condom.  Besides, I trust her.

Picyou writes:

You touched my heart!

Thank you.  Unfortunately your breasts were in the way.  I hope my hands weren’t cold.

Regency Executive writes:

So many females let their knees fall inward.

I know!  How am I supposed to pleasure myself in motel rooms when they are showing that kind of porn.

Company site writes:

Would you be interested in writing a guest post?

That depends.  Would you be interested in touching it?

Anello Tiffany writes:

Swallow mouth is full of bitter.

But it’s good for your complexion.

Smucker writes:

Your individual understanding and kindness in handling the subject was very helpful.

Don’t mention it.  Your erectile dysfunction could be a question of blood flow.

Louboutin Soldes writes:

Very helpless hearing my sister’s pleas for help.

Look, for the last time it was consensual.  She wanted it.

Nelson Bird writes:

Can I just say, what a relief it is to find someone that actually knows what they’re talking about online!

I’m very experienced.  Very, very, very, very experienced.  Do you think your wife would be into it?

And finally, Battagliadipavia writes:

Stepmother came.

I hear you.  Nothing like a hot stepmother to add to the excitement.

There you have it.  In the immortal words of Casey Kasem, “Keep your feet on the ground.  I’ll mount you from behind.”

Um.  I think he said that.

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