Let Us Ensure That the Murder of British Soldiers is Safe, Legal and Rare

What is this man's motive?  We may never know

What is this man’s motive? We may never know

The week since the man-caused death of a British soldier in London has been a time of reflection here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel.

Specifically, what was the root cause of this man-caused death?  The British soldier in question was beheaded and hacked up with a meat cleaver by two men.  Videotapes cannot prove the background of these men and of course to speculate would be racist.  What were the motives of these men of unknown origin?

Was this a protest against the institutional racism of northern Europeans?  Did the perpetrators of this regrettable incident wish to empower themselves?  Was this a protest against the soullessness of modern European society?  Was the incident political in nature?  Was this a protest against the dismantling of the social welfare state?

We feel that all these motives are probable and are in fact the only possible explanations.

What other motive could there be?

Initial reports indicate that the perpetrators shouted “Allah Akbar” as they carved the British soldier to pieces.  But this obviously is in error.  Islam is the Religion of Peace.

I have heard the audiotape of the man-caused event and after repeated listenings I can make out the assailants praying the rosary.

This would make sense as Christians are bitter people who cling to guns and, in this case, meat cleavers.

But more importantly, what can we do to prevent this happening in the future?

There are a few things we can do:

  • Rebuild the welfare state
  • Restrict the profession of any Christian denomination
  • Free stuff for everybody
  • Build a “No judgments, value-free” society

But until the day this happens more attacks like these will probably happen. (And who can blame an enraged population.)

But by following our recommendations we hope to make any further attacks on British servicemen safe, legal and rare.

And yes, technically chopping up someone is currently illegal.  But doesn’t that just stigmatize chopping people up?  And isn’t that in fact a “value judgment“?  And aren’t value judgments outdated by scientific advances?

So to recap British soldiers will continue to be chopped up in the future, probably by crazed Catholics or Anglicans.  But if the British government takes my advice the chopping up of said soldiers will be legal.  And rare.  And safe.  For bystanders anyway.

Manhattan Infidel



4 Responses

  1. Allahu Akbar? I bet that means “God save the Queen”, in their native tongue. I wonder what that British soldier did to provoke those poor butchers? Soldiers should not be allowed out in public. If they stayed lock up in their barracks, the butchers wouldn’t have to work so hard.

  2. Bob Agard says:

    “Safe, legal, and rare” has a nice ring to it, kinda like “shake, rattle, and roll.” Linked to your brilliance here: http://bobagard.blogspot.com/2013/05/safe-legal-and-rare.html

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>