NBA Player Comes Out as White

Will the NBA accept an openly white player?

Will the NBA accept an openly white player?

A professional basketball player has shocked teammates, fans and press by coming out today as a white man.

“It’s true” said Steve Nash of the Los Angeles Lakers.  “Deep down I’ve always known something was different about me.”

Deep down I think I’ve always known I was white but didn’t want to admit it to myself.  In my younger years I hung out with black people because I felt that was normal.  But I never quite fit in.  I kept telling myself that the sky was red, but I always knew it was blue.

Nash goes on to talk about telling his grandmother that he was white.

She was the first person I told.  I just said,” Grandma, I think I’m white.”  That’s when she said that she’s always known that I was white and that she would love me and support me no matter what I did.  As long as I didn’t come out as Irish.

The reaction from fellow NBA players was immediate.

“I always thought he was a little off” said former teammate with the Dallas Mavericks, Tim Hardaway.

I remember once asking him if he’d like to be in my rap video.  He asked me if it was a chicken or fajita wrap.  I just thought he was touched in the head but I never suspected he was white.

When asked if this would affect his relationship with Nash, Hardaway responded, “As long as we don’t shower together. I ain’t showering with no white folk.  No way.”

Nash’s family is divided on his coming out.  Said one relative:

It’s embarrassing now when I go to games.  Everyone looks at me and says “Who’s the white guy sitting in the VIP section?”  I had Chris Duhon’s mother turn to me and yell, “So you’re related to the white guy who just missed two free throws?”  Then she threw her glass of Pinot Grigio in my face.

The Society for Acceptance of White Athletes has praised Nash’s decision.

The words courage and inspiration get thrown around a lot in sports but what Steve Nash has done is truly inspirational.  The time has come to accept those who are different.  The time has come to accept the presence of white people in professional sports other than Hockey.  Or Badminton.  Or Curling. Or Chess. You know, the “nerd” sports.

Nash’s decision to come out has far-reaching implications.  Since his announcement other players have decided to have their own “coming out” moment.

Kobe Bryant tweeted his followers:

Following in Nash’s footsteps I now have the courage to come out and tell the world that I am a rapist. I have always been a rapist.

Shaquille O’Neal released a statement saying, “I have decided to tell the world that I was an overrated player.  Please forgive me.”

Dennis Rodman tweeted that he was “Batshit insane.  Crazier than Mel Gibson on a sugar high.  Now is the time to tell the world.”

NBA commissioner David Stern reacted swiftly to Nash’s coming out.

The NBA has always stood for one thing:  Tattoos.  But now we stand united for tolerance. Steve Nash is a brave man. I ask all NBA fans to support Mr. Nash.  He has even given me the courage to come out as a white man. I am white, yet comely.

There has been no word from Nash’s wife on whether his startling announcement will affect their marriage.



2 Responses

  1. When will Obama hathe courage to come out and admit he is white?

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: Never. There would be nothing politically to gain for Obama by admitting his biracial background.

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