Katy Perry, John Mayer to…..Oh Who Gives a Shit

Katy Perry and John Mayer photographed before they announced something that no one really cares about.

Katy Perry and John Mayer photographed before they announced something that no one really cares about.

It has been revealed today that Hollywood Super couple Katy Perry and John Mayer, known in the tabloids at “Ka-May” are to do something.  A fan website dedicated to the celebrity couple has this latest entry:

Breaking news:  Katy Perry and John Mayer are definitely doing something.  But I’m having dinner right now.  I’ll scan the internet after I’m done eating to see if I can get any further information on whatever it is.  Or I might just go to a movie.  Whatever is happening to to them I’m sure it can wait until morning.

Celebrity gossip site TMZ has also reported that they might have breaking news on Ka-May:

We heard somewhere that Ka-May have been spotted together.  Or separately.  We probably should send reporters to check up on it.  Because that’s what we do here at TMZ.  We give important celebrity news.  But most of us are watching the NCAA final.  We’ll get on it when the game is over.  But in the meantime, here are some pictures of Sherman Hemsley.  He’s still dead.  If he  becomes undead we will update that story.  Probably not until after the game though.

Access Hollywood opened its evening broadcast with a ten minute feature on a cat that was spotted crossing Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles.

“As soon as we can get the cat’s name  and what it’s possible motivations were we will bring it to you” an emotional Billy Bush told viewers.  But before going into a commercial break Bush said that they would return with a story about Perry and Mayer.  However they never did report on the power couple as Access Hollywood correspondent Kit Hoover had cornered the cat and was going to attempt a live interview.

“As soon as Kit is finished talking to the cat we promise to bring you the latest on Ka-May.  Unless we run out of time that is.”

Over at Entertainment Tonight hosts Nancy O’Dell and Rocsi Diaz teased their fans with a possible update on Perry and Mayer:

O’Dell:  Well there is something going on with Katy Perry and John Mayer.  What is up with this A-list couple?

Diaz: I wouldn’t really call them an A-list couple.  Mayer hasn’t had a hit in years and Perry probably has had the only hit she’ll ever have.  Maybe they’re a C-list couple?

O’Dell: D-list definitely.  Yeah, I wouldn’t even waste our airtime reporting on them.

Diaz: Access Hollywood is interviewing a cat.

O’Dell: Goddammit why do they always get all the good stories?  Well here’s a story for you – I let Pat O’Brien sniff my panties!

Diaz: omg! Insider already did that story.

O’Dell: Will someone please tell me why I stopped drinking?

omg! Insider said that they would report on the Perry and Mayer story, whatever it was, but right now all their correspondents are busy searching Wilshire Boulevard for any other cats that might attempt a crossing.   Host Kevin Frazier told their audience that “We can’t let those bastards at Access Hollywood get the scoop on us!

Meanwhile back at the blog dedicated to the power couple the webmaster in charge has announced that he is shutting the site down.

I started this stupid blog because I thought it would be fun.  But then I realized I really couldn’t give a shit about either of them.  It’s one of my life choices I regret, right up there with my decision to spend ten years stalking Angela Cartwright.

Breaking news:  Entertainment Tonight is reporting that omg! Insider has verified that the cat who crossed Wilshire Boulevard has scratched Access Hollywood correspondent Kit Hoover.


3 Responses

  1. Wow! This almost news has me sitting on the edge of my toilett waiting for a good reason to take a dump.

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