My Exclusive Interview with Charles the Bald


It's a hair replacement system!

It’s a hair replacement system!

Here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel we are not just a place to find great Asian porn.  No, we are a news site as well.   Though we realize the great Asian porn is why most people stop by.  But we also like to provide our readers with information.  Because information is the worldwide currency of the mind.  Though, again, we realize that great Asian porn can help the mind relax.  And when a mind is relaxed it can search the internet for the more worldwide currency.  Though in many countries great Asian porn is also considered the currency of the mind.  Like the other day when I was searching for worldwide currency of the mind in a public library and the police intervened because children might have seen what I was viewing and I had to inform them that great Asian porn is considered – well to make a long story short the police weren’t interested in my explanation and I spent the weekend in lockup.

But I digress.  Today I am pleased to have as a subject of my interview the great historical figure Charles the Bald.

MI: Good afternoon Sir Charles the Bald.

CB: That’s King Charles the Bald to you, commoner.

MI: Right, about that.  This is America.  We don’t believe in royalty  Unless it’s President Obama’s family.  So let’s talk about your reign.  The Treaty of Verdun in 843 A.D. made you undisputed ruler of the Kingdom of the West Franks.

CB: Yes.  I was a benevolent ruler.  I truly loved my subjects and was loved by them in turn.

MI: Really?  That’s not what I heard.  I heard that you were so unpopular that disaffected nobles invited Louis the German to oust you and you had to flee to Burgundy.

CB: Next question.

MI: Okay.  So that’s how it’s going to be?  Very well, my next question –

CB: What are you looking at?

MI: Your hair.

CB: Don’t look at my hair.

MI: I can’t help it.  You have sort of a T.J. Hooker thing going on.

CB: Next question please.

MI: Why were you called “Charles the Bald”?

CB:  It’s, it’s ironic.  I’m actually quite hairy.  So they called me Charles the Bald.  You know how wacky nobles can be.

MI: I don’t know.  You don’t look that hairy to me.  Are you sure you’re not bald?

CB: I’m telling you, I’m quite hairy.

MI: What’s that?

CB: What?

MI:  It looks like glue dripping down your forehead.

CB: Dammit they said this wouldn’t happen.

MI: Is that toupee glue?

CB: No!  I have a skin condition and I have to put drops in my long, flowing, luxuriant, totally natural hair.

MI: I’m going to have to take a closer look.  Do you mind if I touch your hair?

CB: No!  No!  Don’t touch it. Don’t mess it up!

[Manhattan Infidel rips off Charles the Bald’s hairpiece.]

MI: I knew it.  It’s a wig. 

CB: Give it back!  If my subjects knew they would overthrow me.

MI: You have tape on the top of your  head.  Tape!  Is that supposed to hold the wig on?  It’s rather undignified.  I won’t even mention the glue.

CB: Give it back!  Give me back my hair replacement system!

[Charles the Bald grabs his wig from Manhattan Infidel and places it on his head. It hangs off at an angle, exposing much of the back of his head.]

MI: It’s not on right.  It’s hanging off –

CB: Shut up!  Just shut up!

[An eagle flies down and grabs his toupee with its talons and flies off with the wig.]

MI:  That’s something you don’t see every day.

CB:  No!  Come back!  Come back with my hair replacement system!

[Charles the Bald runs off after the eagle.]

MI: Okay then.  I guess the interview is over.  Bye.

And so ended my interview with the historical figure Charles the Bald.  And readers, if you happen to see an eagle carrying a toupee in its talons please contact Charles the Bald.  I understand he paid top dollar for it.  Though he should really have bought two so he had a backup for situations like this.

And now it’s back to my Asian porn search.  It relaxes my mind.


2 Responses

  1. You, Infidel, need some multicultural-diversity training. We bald people have feelings, you know. You are nothing but an Asian porn loving racist!

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: I should be more sensitive. You’re right. I mean its not like Charles the bald was a teabagger or believed on the second amendment.

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