Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing Soledad O’Brien, late of CNN’s “Starting Point” show and veteran of many years in the news industry.

MI:  Ms. O’Brien thank you for meeting with me.

SOB:  The pleasure is mine.

MI: You’re too kind.

SOB:  Well, we news professionals with hit cable shows have to stick together, don’t we?

MI:  I, I don’t have a hit cable show.

SOB:  Oh well.  I guess only I have a hit cable show.

MI:  Actually you don’t.  Your show was cancelled in part because CNN VP Bart Feder thought that your audience was too ethnic.

SOB:  Cancelled?  No that’s not right.  My producer, and I’m listening to him through my earpiece now, tells me that according to Wikipedia cancelled means “renewed.”

MI:  Are you sure?

SOB:  It’s in my earpiece.

MI:  Okay. We’ll address that issue later.  Do you have any thoughts on Feder saying that your audience was too small and happened to be predominantly African-American?  Too ethnic in other words?

SOB:  Okay.  Okay.  According to my producer, and he’s saying this in my earpiece right now, that according to Wikipedia “too ethnic” mean “too Celtic.  Too Irish.”  

MI:  I sincerely doubt it means that.

SOB:  It’s in my earpiece.  My producer, my earpiece and Wikipedia do not lie.

MI:  Really?

SOB:  [Pause] Black is beautiful!

MI:  I agree.  All colors created by God are beautiful.  

SOB:  According to my producer Wikipedia says God is a bourgeois construct.

MI:  You don’t even now what that means.  Let me see that earpiece.

[Manhattan Infidel rips out Soledad O’Brien’s earpiece]

MI:  You’re not listening to your producer.  This earpiece isn’t even connected to anything!

SOB:  Well that’s all the time we have.  Join me tomorrow – 

MI:  You’re not on the air!

SOB:  Don’t touch me.  Don’t come near me.   I have a can of mace.  I’ll use it.  Swish. Swish.

MI:  You don’t have a can of mace in your hand.  You’re just pointing your finger at me and making “swishing” noises.

SOB:  According to Wikipedia Mace was a keyboardist in the Grateful Dead.

MI:  You’re just making shit up.

SOB:  Please, give me back my earpiece.  I beg you.

[Manhattan Infidel hands her back her earpiece which she puts on.  After putting it back on she curls up into a fetal position]

SOB:  I love you earpiece.  According to my producer Wikipedia says nervous breakdown means to lightly marinate.

MI:  I’m going to go now.  This is really too painful to watch.

SOB:  Watch.  Wikipedia has no entry on a watch.

I left Ms. O’Brien curled up in a fetal position, wearing her earpiece and quoting fake Wikipedia entries.  What can I say.  The old “earpiece’ scam is one of the oldest around.  Don’t fall for it.

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