President Obama Murders Betty White

A photo of President Obama firing the fatal shot

In what can only be described as a calculated political act, President Obama murdered American icon Betty White at Camp David today.

The tragic train of events were put in motion when President Obama invited Ms. White

Murder victim Betty White

to spend the weekend at Camp David.  A thrilled Ms. White accepted immediately.

“I haven’t spent the weekend with a president since the time JFK and I were holed up at his estate in Florida” White told her friends.

Unbeknownst to Ms. White, President Obama had other plans.  Reacting to the wide-spread derision that accompanied the release of a photo of the President skeet shooting, White House aides decided that another photo op was necessary to make Obama appear more masculine and drive home the fact that yes, the President does indeed use a shotgun and enjoys it.

After much brainstorming it was then decided that a photo was to be released of Obama shooting someone.  But who?  Beating out a list of ten, Betty White was chosen for the honor.

“Everyone knows who she is” said an Obama aide.  “And she’s old.  We could spin it as reducing the deficit.  Instead of a death panel, our manly President would do the job himself.”

Arriving at Camp David Ms. White was led onto the shooting range where President Obama, shotgun in hand, was waiting for her.

“President Obama I am so honored to meet you” Ms. White exclaimed upon seeing Obama.

President Obama silently sized her up before telling an aid, “Yeah, I can kill her.”

“Ms. White” the President said, moving closer to her,

I am Barack Obama and this is my shotgun. There are many like it.  But this one is mine. My shotgun is my best friend.  It is my life.  And I will use my shotgun to kill you.  Your death at my hands will be a great honor.  Now…….run!

Confused at first as to what was happening, Ms. White stood motionless.  It wasn’t until President Obama winged her with his first shot that she started running.

After running approximately 50 yards an exhausted Ms. White collapsed and begged for her life.

“Please Mr. President.  I’m an old woman!”

The President stood over her, his face a steely-eyed heat seeker of death.

“And I hate old women” he replied before emptying the shotgun into White.  After she was verified as dead President Obama posed for pictures with the corpse, even holding her head and giving the thumbs up in one photo.

The photos were immediately released to the media who hailed them as magnificent examples of President Obama’s manliness.

“Thrilling” said CNBC.

“It made me feel like a man again” said Piers Morgan of CNN.  “And believe me it takes a lot to make me feel like a man.”

“His compassion and manliness made me quiver like a schoolgirl” said Margaret Low Smith, Senior Vice President for News at National Public Radio.

Because of the positive reaction to President Obama’s killing of Betty White, Presidential press secretary Jay Carney promises more murders in the future.

“President Obama cares about our deficit.  Because of Republican obstruction in the House the only way for him to accomplish this is to kill old people.”

Breaking news:  Former Yankee catcher and well-known old person Yogi Berra has gone into hiding.


6 Responses

  1. Run, Yogi, run! It’s deja vu all over again! Run, Yogi, run!

  2. innominatus says:

    Typical white woman.

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: I hear he’s going after Whitey Ford next.

    Inn: Straight up. Jive ass white woman!

  4. Joe Biden is not safe.

    Get him to Cheney’s bunker–STAT.

  5. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: Dear Leader only kills bad old people and Republicans. Uncle Joe is a Democrat. I guess he’s safe. For now.

  6. Bob Agard says:

    Glad to hear about Uncle Joe being safe. I passed on the warning to well-known older persons here:

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