My Exclusive Interview with Vice President Joe Biden

RAPE!  RAPE!! RAPE!!! RAPE!!!!  Vote Democrat and rapes will cease.Here at the world wide headquarters opium den in the lower east side of Manhattan Infidel I have had the chance to interview many movers and shakers but mostly the voices in my head.  Today I am excited to present my exclusive interview with the Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden.

MI:  Good afternoon Mr. Vice President. It is a pleasure to have the opportunity to interview you.

Joe Biden:  Thank you.  I’m a big fan of your show.

MI:  My….my show?

Joe Biden:  Yes I watch it every night. Unless Mrs. Obama tells me to go to my room.  I don’t like her.  She’s mean.

MI:  Okay.

Joe Biden:  Where are the cameras?  I must say you look much different in person Mr Sharpton.

MI:  Um, I’m not Al Sharpton and I don’t have a TV show.  I’m the Manhattan Infidel and I have a blog.

Joe Biden:  Ouch.  Tough break.  I had a blog once.  Every time I urinated I cried.  The doctor had to remove it.  Did you know that most blogs pass easily.  But if they are larger it’s like shooting a cannonball out of your penis.

MI:  Let’s get on with the interview.  I’d like to ask you about your controversial statement –

Joe Biden:  About Pennsylvania being a haven for vampires?

MI:  No, about –

Joe Biden:  The alphabet being invented by Justin Bieber?

MI:  No, I mean your comments on –

Joe Biden:  The bottom of the Atlantic Ocean harboring a race of super intelligent gill-breathing mutant midgets?

MI:  Well, actually that’s not that controversial. Everyone knows they are down there.  No, what I want to talk about are your comments on the jobs bill and rape.

Joe Biden:  Exactly.  Pass the jobs bill or rape will continue to rise.

MI:  That’s a remarkable statement.  I don’t see the correlation.

Joe Biden:  I have personally witnessed a super intelligent gill-breathing mutant midget commit rape over his anger that the jobs bill hasn’t passed.

MI:  Why didn’t you stop him?

Joe Biden:  I’m Joe Biden.

MI:  Good point.

Joe Biden:  I meant that as Vice President I only have one Constitutional duty – to sit in my office and watch Gilligan’s Island.  It’s right there in the ninth article of the Constitution.  Mr. Obama told me so.

MI:  The Constitution only has seven articles.

Joe Biden:  Math is hard!

MI Let’s get back to your comments on rape.

Joe Biden:  Republicans are the party of rape!

MI:  That’s exactly what I want to talk about.

Joe Biden:  Do you have any ice cream?

MI:  Not on me.  No.

Joe Biden:  I like ice cream.  Sometimes when I eat it too fast my head hurts.

MI:  A brain freeze.

Joe Biden:  Mr. Obama told me that when that happens a woman is being raped because the jobs bill didn’t pass.

MI:  Okay.  I see this interview isn’t going anywhere.

Joe Biden:  Can I go now?  The other kids have recess now and I want to play with them.  I just wish they would stop choosing me last for their teams.

MI:  I guess you can go now.

Joe Biden:  Thanks Mr. Sharpton!   Bye.  Good luck with your blogs. I hope yours aren’t too painful.

And so ended my interview with the distinguished Vice President of the United States.  And you super intelligent gill-breathing mutant midgets better stay the hell away from me.



6 Responses

  1. Joe BiteMe is right; Mrs. Obama is mean.

    Damn, I agree with Vice-President Doofus on something. Does that mean I’m a liberal now?

  2. innominatus says:

    >>>Joe Biden: I’m Joe Biden.

    When I read that, I heard it in my “I am the Batman!” voice which made it even funnier.


    Passing blogstones we much.

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: Yes, you are not a liberal and just like the VP. Now stop playing with your food and finish your vegetables are I’m sending you to bed!

    Inn: I’m the Manhattan Infidel!

  4. I have heard of people pissing away their blog. That has to be painful no matter what that dufus Biden says.

  5. Trestin says:

    I’ve been doing the blog thing for two years. And women think 30 hours of labor is bad?

  6. MK says:

    Sounds like you got the moron on a good day, after he’d taken his medication.

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