Heroic Socialist Gaddafi Redistributes His Life

Heroic socialist Muammar Gaddafi redistributes his lifeIn his heroic last moments of life, Libyan strongman Muammar Gaddafi remained true to his socialist principles, telling his captors that he was ready to die.

“My death is not a death but a redistribution of life. As a socialist it’s only fair that we redistribute everything.”

As he was being beaten to death Gaddafi told onlookers that he only hoped that Occupy Wall Street was watching.

“We both believe in redistribution.  And…..ouch.  You shot me a–hole!  That stings!”

After the death of the brave socialist his body was redistributed in parts along various garbage dumps near Tripoli.

Jubilant crowds celebrated by dancing in the street and discharging their weapons in the air.  Said one rebel:

First Saddam.  Then Bin Laden.  Now Gaddafi.  We have killed three of our most brutal dictators.  Next we kill Larry King. But if he’s dead we’ll kill Anderson Cooper!  But if Anderson is dead we’ll kill Dick Sargent.  What? The great Satan Dick is dead?  Well we have to kill somebody.  Keith Richards?  You can’t fool me.  He’s been dead for years. What?  The Great Satan Keith Richards is still alive?  Comrades we must kill Keith Richards!

News of Gaddafi’s death stunned the revolutionaries of Occupy Wall Street.

All officially sanctioned Occupy Wall Street activities (drumming, defecating, transmitting bodily fluids, whining) were suspended for ten minutes out of respect.

In Hell, where he was having tea with recent arrival Osama Bin Laden, Satan groused.

Great.  I’m running out of space. Where the hell am I going to put him?  I suppose I could put him with the sodomites or  perhaps with the two actors who played Lionel Jefferson.  I’ll figure it out once I finish my tea.  Oh, Rosie’s new talk show is on.  Great girl.  Can’t wait to meet her in person. 

At Occupy Oakland rapes were suspended out of respect.

The leader of Occupy Oakland, who goes by the traditional Native American name of “Kill the Rich Bastards”  told the press that while he didn’t agree with everything Gaddafi did, “at the very least he wasn’t a Jew banker.  So he was worthy of respect.”

From Hell where he was being torn apart by demons for all eternity, Gaddafi told a reporter for MSNBC that:

I don’t mind being in Hell.  Many great Muslims are here.  But why did they have to put me next to those two idiot actors who played Lionel Jefferson? A man of my importance should be with the sodomites.  Or Karl Marx.  No wait.  Sorry.  I meant Zeppo Marx.  No wait. Sorry.  I meant William Howard Taft the fat bastard. No wait. Sorry.  I meant the guy who thought it was a good idea to explain Bobby Ewing’s return to Dallas by having the previous season be a dream.  Weak baby. Weak.

Back at Occupy Wall Street, revolutionary organizers declared that out of respect for all Gaddafi had accomplished  Zuccotti park will be renamed “Death to the Jewish Dogs Park.”

A spokesman for Mayor Bloomberg said that as long as protesters refrained from smoking and watched their sugar intake, they could rename the park whatever they wanted.


6 Responses

  1. One less scum bag. So many more to go.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: Let’s move onto the Occupy Wall Street morons next.

  3. MK says:

    “…Bloomberg said that as long as protesters refrained from smoking and watched their sugar intake…”

    What about the trans fats, surely bloombergs soft inner fascist isn’t slipping.

  4. eots says:

    I can’t say I’m worried about Libya. I’m sure they’ll get another redistiributionist, and they’ll get him soon. I do hope that he’s our sob, though.

  5. Trestin says:

    Wait… Keith Richards is a real person? I thought that was Jerry Lewis doing a pirate impersonation.

  6. “Zuccotti Park will be renamed ‘Death to the Jewish Dogs Park.'”

    Zionists have been occupying the Fist National West Bank of Zuccotti for too long!!!!!!!!11111111111111eleventy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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