Pete Best Banned From Drum Circle at Occupy Wall Street!

Hey mates, mind if I join?As Occupy Wall Street, the movement that has transformed the world, moves into its second month there has been one constant.  Well, two if you count feces in the street.  Well, three if you count redistribution of MacBooks.  Well four if you count giant puppets.  But there has really been only one constant besides the feces, redistribution of MacBooks and giant puppets.  That is the drumming.

The Occupy Wall Street Drum Circle, as it is called, starts its drum beat at 7 in the morning and continues until 10 PM or later on most days.

“You can’t have a revolution without a drumbeat.  Hey, who redistributed my MacBook” said one protester.

The drum circle has been a source of harmony and good vibes for all protesters. That is, until he I used to be in the Beatles, mate. showed up.

One day we were all drumming as usual and this old English dude shows up.  He said he was here to support us and could he join our drumming circle?  I said yeah, why not.  What a mistake.  He couldn’t keep a steady beat.  He was always rushing the beat or slowing down. I mean the guy really sucked.  Finally we had to kick him out.  That’s when he said, “But I used to be in the Beatles!”  Yeah, right.  He doesn’t look anything like Paul or Ringo.  That’s when I redistributed his MacBook.

After being banned from the drum circle Mr. Best continued to hang around Zuccoti Park, annoying the revolutionaries and asking anyone if they had seen his laptop.

Eventually the police were called in.  Several officers surrounded Best and told him to leave the protesters alone.

It was at this point that eyewitness accounts diverge.  Some say that Best was friendly and extended his hand to the police while saying, “Hi.  I’m Pete Best and I used to be in the Beatles.”

Others say that Best pulled out a drumstick from his coat.  The officers, mistaking it for a weapon sprung into action.

“He’s armed” shouted the police as they pulled out their nightsticks and started beating him.

As Best was being beaten the occupants of the drum circle joined in.

“The cops got the beat” said one.

Finally the police stopped and a barely conscious Best was dragged to a waiting police van.

“Get in the paddy wagon, boyo.  Get in the paddy wagon!”

As the doors to the police van closed a reporter asked the arresting officer who that was.

“I don’t know.  He said he used to be in the Beatles, but he doesn’t look anything like Paul or Ringo.  You know what he does look like?  The bastard who redistributed my MacBook!”

Mr. Best is charged with disturbing the peace, trespassing and redistribution.  He is being held without bail.


5 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    There is no movement, revolution, party or gathering that can survive a visit from Pete Best. OWS is doomed.

  2. Maybe it was that other Pete Best. You know, the one that played with Volkswagen Beetles.

  3. Trestin says:

    I once had $50 redistributed from me when I forgot to lock my car.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: Pete Best is the destroyer!

    Jim: Ja!

    Trestin: Well, redistribution is only fair!!

  5. MK says:

    Are those shitbags really redistributing macbooks, i’d like to get me one of those.

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