The Democratic Party’s Declaration on its Relationship with Non-Democratic Parties

We seek to elevate the tone of political discourse with racistsAs part of my continuing series aimed at making my readers more knowledgeable about the issues in the 2012 Presidential campaign I now present the Democratic Party’s official document on its relation with non-Democratic parties:

In this age of ours, where men (and liberal women) are drawing more closely together and the bonds of friendship between different political parties (except for the racist teabaggers) are being strengthened the Holy Democratic Party examines with greater care the relation she has to non-Democratic parties.

Men look to their different political parties for an answer to the unsolved riddles of human existence (big government is good.)  What is man?  (He exists for the government.)  What is the meaning and purpose of life (big government.) What is upright and what is sinful?  (Lowering taxes is sinful.  Big government is upright.)  How can genuine happiness be found? (Big government.)  What happens at death?  (Bigger government.)

The Democratic Party rejects nothing of what is true and honorable in other parties (except for the racist teabaggers.)  She has a high regard for their precepts and doctrines, which, although differing in many ways from ours, nevertheless often reflect a love of bigger government and more government spending.

Chief among these is the Republican Party.  Like us they worship big government. Like us they are in bed with special interests.  And although many Republicans are racist we look forward to working with them to further the aims of our Federal government.

Over the past century and a half many dissensions and quarrels have arisen between Democrats and Republicans.  The Sacred Democratic Party now pleads with all to forget the past (except for 2000 when we were robbed of the Presidency), and urges that a sincere effort be made to increase the size of our government.  For the benefit of all  men let us together preserve and promote peace and social justice which can only be done by higher taxes and bigger government.

Next the Sacred Democratic Party wishes to acknowledge Libertarians.  While we share some things in common (Homosapienism, living in the same country) the Democratic Party is duty bound to call Libertarians out on their core beliefs. For Libertarians seek to reduce the Federal government. I mean, we thought the Republicans were racist! But really!

Finally, sadly, the Democratic Party must address the troubling  phenomenon of Teabagging (and we are not referring to the wholesome sexual practice of many of our constituents.)  For teabaggers are the worst of the worst.  Barely human.  Troglodytes who would turn back the clock and return us to obeying the Constitution as it is written.  Teabaggers want to reduce our debt, which as we all know is a outward sign of their inward racism.  We disown them and prefer to work with reasonable racists like the Republicans and the Libertarians.

Finally Holy Mother Democratic Party reproves, as foreign to the mind of our Sacred Party, any discrimination against any peoples or parties on the basis or race, color or creed (as long as they aren’t Christian, which is a racist religion.)

In conclusion we seek to work with all parties for the betterment of the voting public (dead and alive.) For only the Democrats have your best interests at heart.  All others are racist.  Particularly teabaggers.



3 Responses

  1. that, sir, is the most honest description of the Democrat Party platform I have ever seen. Congratulations, Infidel.

  2. What a beautiful statement about the accepting of dissent.

    Besides, everyone knows tea-baggers aren’t really human or anything.

  3. MK says:

    “What happens at death? (Bigger government.)”

    Don’t forget death duties, even in death leftists will not let you rest.

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