President Obama Bullied at Anti-Bullying Summit

See that building behind me?  We used to own it.It seemed like a good idea at the time.  President Obama, using his moral authority, would hold an anti-bullying summit at the White House.  Those who were victims of bullying would tearfully give their testimony.  At the conclusion the President would give one of his soaring, eloquent speeches denouncing bullying.

Unfortunately things did not work out as planned.

After all the speakers had tearfully recounted their stories of being bullied at school, President Obama approached the podium.  However, before he could reach it a child put his foot out, tripping the President who landed on his face as the audience laughed.

An embarrassed President Obama, clearly shaken, got up and approached the podium.  Unfortunately he failed to notice the “Kick me” sign that had been taped to his back.  Several Secret Service agents, seeing the sign dutifully kicked President Obama.  The audience at the White House roared in laughter as the confused President repeatedly asked the Secret Service to “Stop it guys! Come on.  Stop being mean to me!”

It was then that Vice President Biden told Obama about the sign on his back.

“Happens to me all the time” said Mr. Biden.

In an awkward series of moves, President Obama tried to get the sign off his back.

“He looked like Elaine dancing on Seinfeld” said a witness.

After removing the sign the President finally approached the podium and began his speech.  Shortly after beginning however, someone shouted “I saw President Obama kissing a girl!”

Having had enough of being bullied, a tearful President Obama rushed out of the room.  The First Lady followed him.  As the President cried, she held him in her arms.

“What’s wrong dear?”

Between sobs Obama said, “Why are they always bullying me?  Everyone’s so mean to me!”

The First Lady then started singing to him, “Hush little baby don’t say a word, mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don’t sing Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.”

This calmed the President down, who fell asleep in the First Lady’s arms.  Mrs. Obama put the President to bed and sighed.

“He looks so cute when he’s sleeping.  I want to protect him from bullies but he’s going to have to learn to fight back.”

She then picked up her $1000 handbag.

“Well, I’m off to shop.  Give him a candy bar when he wakes up” she instructed the Secret Service.


7 Responses

  1. John Carey says:

    Funny Manhattan.

  2. It’s nice to know Michelle has such a motherly soothing touch with our Vactioner-in-chief.

  3. Predictable. Have you seen the guy on a mountain bike, for crying out loud?

    [Assigned Reading List Tonight]

    “Because the Only Good Progressive is a Failed Progressive”

  4. Matt says:

    We’ll, he’s not exactly a manly man. Remember his horrendous first pitch?

  5. MK says:

    I’m sure they would have enjoyed kicking him. 🙂

  6. The Jungers says:

    I so wish i could have been the one to kick the Fuck up-in-chief.

  7. Fowl Ideas says:

    Terrorists can sleep soundly knowing that Americans are so worthy of hate they treat their neighbors’ children like Jews at a klan rally.

    Drop by and say hello.

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