Japan was rocked last week by its most violent Earthquake since the 1920s.  Measuring 8.9 on the Richter scale it devastated the north and brought a tsunami in its wake, washing entire cities out to sea and killing thousands.

The culprit:  Zionist Israel, George “Hitler” Bush and the scientific fact of global warming.

The United Nations held an emergency session declaring its support for Japan as it struggles against Zionist oppression.

Syrian Ambassador to the U.N., H.E. Bashar Ja’afari scolded Israel:

Is it not enough that you Zionists must occupy Arab lands?  Now you use your superior technology to flatten Japan, making it easier for you devils with tails to take over that nation? Don’t look towards the U.S. delegation.  Their President feels the same way I do.  And once he finishes playing 18 holes of golf I will contact him for a statement.

From the racist state of Texas, where he is living off ill-gotten Haliburton royalties, George Bush was confronted by courageous reporters from MSNBC.

MSNBC:  Have you no shame sir?  Do you deny responsibility for what’s happened in Japan?

George Bush:  Yes.  I’ve seen the images on the news.  Absolutely horrible and gut-wrenching.  We need to pray for the victims of this tragedy and help the survivors.

MSNBC:  You’re mean.  You suck.

On board his specially-equipped 767 jet, nicknamed “Global Warming 1“, former Vice President, scientific adviser to Leonardo DiCaprio and man of passion Al Gore spoke with reporters via skype:

What has happened in the Land of the Rising Sun has confirmed what I have been telling people for years.  Yes, it is an inconvenient truth but global warming caused this.  Ice packs have melted, lessening the weight on tectonic plates, causing them to move. George Bush also has to accept responsibility.  If he had only signed the Protocols of the Elders of Kyoto the world would live in peace, polar bears would not drown and I would be President.

Mr. Gore then spoke of his efforts to  monitor the crisis on the ground.

Gore: This jet can stay in the air for up to four weeks at once.  Several jets are following and can refuel us when necessary.  I do this because I care for our planet.  I ask all Americans to buy carbon credits which can be used to give the Japanese mud huts and toilet free waste disposal units.

Reporter: You mean outhouses?

Gore:  That is the colloquial term.  They are quaint but necessary.  Science has proven that every time you flush a toilet the Earth dies.

The U.N. is scheduled to vote tomorrow on a special resolution demanding that Israel get out of Palestine within 48 hours or all resources that are currently directed towards helping the quake victims in Japan will be diverted towards a military blockade of Israel.

“If the Jews are serious about helping Japan they will leave” said Ja’afari.  “But I wouldn’t hold my breath.  Zionist bastards!”

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