Conservative Netherlands Out of Step With Rest of Europe

Puritans rule The NetherlandsIn perhaps the most stunning example of The Netherlands sharp turn to the right, bestiality has been banned in that country.

The country, which had previously allowed bestiality as long as the human partner was not harmed, and also was responsible for 80% of the world’s bestiality porn has announced that soon its number two export (number one being  crappy beer) will be illegal.

Already the repercussions from this backward-looking and conservative act are extensive.  Business owners are worried about a drop in tourism to The Netherlands.

“People come to The Netherlands for two things.  Crappy beer and bestiality.  And if you get rid of one, the other will not stand on its own.  Beer needs bestiality.  Bestiality needs beer” said one concerned business owner.

“Get rid of bestiality?  That’s what this country is know for!  Would Brazil ban transsexuals?  Would Mexico ban contaminated water?  Would New York City ban taxi drivers who don’t speak English, don’t know where they are going and are undercover Al Qaeda operatives?  Stop the madness!” declared a member of The Netherland’s opposition party.

In Amsterdam’s Red Light District, Fifi, a three-year old french poodle plied her trade.

“Come on.  A dog’s got to make a living right?  What am I going to do once it’s outlawed?  Get a job in Hollywood?  I got respect man.”

European Union President Jerzy Buzek said that he is “deeply disappointed” by the action of The Netherlands.

“I expect this right wing religious denial of sexual freedom in George Bush’s United States but not in progressive Europe.  The Netherlands is out of step with the prevailing attitudes and morals of Europe.  If they do not retract this law the European Union will use all its might, all of its power, to be very very mean to them.  We might even not invite them to dinner.”

Human prostitutes in the Red Light District have announced that they will stop servicing customers out of sympathy for their canine comrades until the law is repealed.


3 Responses

  1. Damn. I thought the point of going to Amsterdam was to be able to say that you legally smoked dope below sea level … and then got paranoid a storm would come along and smash the sea walls and drown you to death.

    But then I thought again, and realized that going to Amsterdam was the only place in the world, besides New Orleans, where you could learn to stick 8,937 fingers into all the holes in the dyke, only to find out that dyke is really a transvestite.

  2. Matt says:

    I don’t really see the point. Aren’t they all under water now?

    LOL at Snarky!

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Snarky: In fairness, the holes in New Orleans’ transsexuals are probably bullet wounds.

    Matt: Yes, they are all under water. Probably George Bush’s fault. Hey, don’t laugh. The last time I was in Ireland they had 4 days in a row without rain. Locals blamed Bush and his environmental policies.

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