City Council Declares February “The Month of the Manhattan Infidel”

City Hall in Manhattan, the home of Infidel loversIn perhaps the first sane thing New York City’s elected officials have done in decades,  February 2010 has been declared “The Month of the Manhattan Infidel” in honor of the one-year anniversary of the Manhattan Infidel blog.

Christine Quinn, City Council President in making the declaration said, “New York City prides itself on its progressive values.  Everyone has a sanctuary on this island whether they be athiests, free-thinkers, or refugees from Dutchess County, New York.  Why, we even allow Republicans in Manhattan, though they must register with the police and wear a purple star.”

A schedule of events honoring Manhattan Infidel has been announced.

  • On Wednesday February 3rd, Mayor Bloomberg will give the Manhattan Infidel the keys to the city.  “What the Hell, I don’t care anymore and I’m usually pretty drunk” said the Mayor.
  • Friday February 5th there will be a parade up the Canyon of Heroes.  In lieu of ticker tape, all those in attendance are encouraged to throw money at the Manhattan Infidel.  Why?  To keep him off the streets of course.   Because when the Manhattan Infidel is on the streets, he gets angry and slaps strangers while shouting, “A curse upon the house of Boccanegra!”  Don’t ask, we don’t understand either.
  • Finally, on Saturday February 13th the Manhattan Infidel invites all followers of his blog (the ones not institutionalized, that is) to join him from 6 to 8 P.M. at Fitzgerald’s Pub on 336 3rd Avenue for drinks, door prizes  and revenge upon the House of Boccanegra.

Already testimonials are pouring in congratulating the Manhattan Infidel on his one-year anniversary.  (Which, sadly, is his longest anniversary for anything not involving paid sex and Michelle Pfieffer’s Cat Woman outfit.)

Harry Reid writes, “I sense a kindred soul in the Manhattan Infidel.  And I’m not just saying that because I’m legally insane.”

Brett Favre made this comment on the historic anniversary:  “My head hurts.  I’m afraid the Manhattan Infidel will sack me.  I don’t like cities anyway.  Can I go home?”

Walt Whitman writes, “I’m dead.  Leave me alone.  Do you come here often?”

Julius Caesar comments, “Congratulations Manhattan Infidel.  Does this toga make my butt look fat?”

Tiger Woods writes, “I’m so hot for you honey.  Let’s do it on the 5th hole.  What?  Sorry, wrong web site.”

And finally, Satan writes, “While I admire the Manhattan Infidel’s work, I am not responsible for it.  However, many on his blogroll, and they know who they are, work for me.”

To make room for The Month of the Manhattan Infidel, Black History month has been moved to April, combined with Albanian History month and renamed “Oscar’s House of Pleasure.”


3 Responses

  1. Can I conference into that meeting? Otherwise it’s a 20-hour commute for me.

    Congrats on lasting. You know I know a bit about that struggle. You do great stuff hear, day after day. It’s a pleasure to come here and laugh.

    Now don’t be like me and fuck it up.

    Peace … or, as the muzzies say … Pieces.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Thanks. It’s is a struggle and at times I wonder why I do it. Fortunately the clown college that is Washington always gives me stuff to write about.

    As for conferencing into the meeting, I think it will probably be in the papers the next day, “Blogger stiffs bar owner; walks out without paying bill.”

  3. KingShamus says:

    Happy Birthday Infidel! Dittos to everything Snarky said.

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