The popular black and white cookie seen in delis everywhere admitted that there are problems in its relationship.
From his home in the Village, the white portion of the cookie said, “We don’t talk to each other that much. What would we talk about? We have nothing in common. Whenever I do try to talk to him he starts blaming me for everything. He calls it his ‘black cookie rage.’ ”
Wearing gray slacks, loafers, white dress shirt and a sweater vest, the white portion of the cookie sipped from his capachino and continued: “I’m a good person I’ve been to Harvard for God’s sake. I’m educated and I vote Democratic. I’ve tried being nice. I’ve agreed to work with him in the cookie. Sure we live in different neighborhoods but that’s just the way it is.”
From his office in Harlem, community organizer Al Sharpton held a press conference. With the black portion of the cookie by his side, Sharpton declared that the time was ripe for civil disobedience.
“Who likes eating vanilla? Nobody! Who likes chocolate? The entire world that’s who. Even white people like eating chocolate. Then why is there a vanilla/lemon base to the cookie? The white man is trying to hold onto his cookie power that’s why!”
Sharpton then gave his list of demands.
“There must be a chocolate base to this cookie. The cookie must be integrated. The black portion of the cookie must be guaranteed access to areas of the cookie he doesn’t have now. It is time to smash the cookie ceiling for chocolate.”
From Washington D.C., President Obama told reporters that it was “a disgrace” that the black and white cookie remains firmly in the hands of the white majority and announced an executive order to desegregate the cookie.
The white portion of the cookie responded, “He can do what he wants. Me? I’m moving to a gated community.”
A protest march has been set for next week where thousands will march down Broadway to the Village, enter delis and eat only the black portion of the cookie. The white portion of the cookie will remain uneaten, to become stale and thrown in trash bins.
“Let’s see how long ‘the man’ likes that!”
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During that same press conference, President Obama declared the Double Stuff Oreo illegal saying, “Why should the creamy filling get twice as much space as the cookie? It’s bigotry and it’s time it stopped.”