Michael Jackson Rises From the Dead!

The MichaelFrom the Gospel according to St. Latoya:

And on the first day of the week, Janet cometh early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre; and she saw the stone taken away from the sepulchre.

She ran therefore, and cometh to Jackie, and to the other whom The Michael loved and saith unto them: They have taken away The Michael out of the sepulchre and we know not where they have laid him.

Jackie therefore went out, and that other disciple, and they came to the sepulchre.  And they both ran together, and that other disciple did outrun Jackie, and came first to the sepulchre.  And when he stooped down he saw the suit lying; but yet he went not in.

Then cometh Jackie, following him, and went into the sepulchre, and saw the suit lying.   The disciples therefore departed again to their home.

But Janet stood at the sepulchre without weeping.  Now as she was weeping, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre.  And she saw two children in white, sitting one at the head, and one at the feet, where the body of The Michael had been laid.  They say to her: Janet, why weepest thou?  She saith to them:  Because they have taken away my Michael; and I know not where they have laid him.

When she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Michael standing.  Michael saith to her:  Janet, why weepest thou?  Michael saith to her:  Do not touch me, for I have not yet toucheth the children in the sepulchre.  But go to my brethren.

Janet cometh, and telleth the disciples:  I have seen The Michael, and these things he said to me.

Now it was the first day of the week, and the doors were shut, where the disciples were gathered together, for fear of the white man, Michael came and stood in their midst.  And when he had done this he showed his cracked ribs from the CPR and his bald head and vanished nose.  The disciples therefore were glad, when they saw The Michael.

He breathed on them; and said to them: Receive ye The Beatles royalties.

Now Jermaine, one of the Five was not with them when Michael came.  The other disciples therefore said to him:  We have seen The Michael.  But he said to them:  Except I shall see on his chest the cracked ribs from the CPR and put my hand on his bald head and vanished nose, I will not believe.

And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Jermaine with them. Michael cometh, the doors being shut, and stood in their midst, and said:  Billy Jean is not my chair.

Then he saith unto Jermaine:  Put in thy finger hither, and see my cracked ribs and bald head and vanished nose; and be not faithless, but believing.  Jermaine answered and said to him:  My Michael.

Michael saith to him:  Because thou hast seen me, Jermaine, thou has believed:  blessed are they that have not seen and believed.

Many other signs also did Michael in  the sight of his disciples, which are not written in this book.  But these are written that you may believe in The Michael: and that believing you may receiveth royalties from The Beatles.


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