Latest Miracle Pill Hits Shelves

Pills pills pills!!For immediate release.  From the offices of Anderson Pharmaceuticals, makers of miracle drugs and wonder bras:

LeFloZyte, the latest drug designed to make the life of man easier and happier has, after much anticipation, hit the shelves. Having trouble with desire or performance?  Are you going and going and going?  Penis too small?  Instead of taking three separate pills for three separate problems why not take one pill for all?  Yes you heard correctly.  One pill!  One pill means less time worrying about your health and more time devoted to the activities you truly enjoy:  sex, more sex, more satisfying sex and regularly spaced but not frequent trips to the bathroom.

Thanks to the miracle of modern chemistry we at Anderson Pharmaceuticals are proud to announce LeFloZyte, the only FDA approved pill to cure erectile dysfunction, growing prostates and too small penises.  But don’t just take our word for it!  Listen to these happy testimonials.

Chuck from Wheeling, West Virginia writes “My love life was in a funk.  I just couldn’t perform like I could when I was younger.  And whenever I would get in the mood I’d have to make one of my many trips to the bathroom.  And when I was in the bathroom I’d find myself looking down at a too small penis.  Life was a drag.  But now with LeFloZyte my penis is big, my bathroom trips are infrequent and I can make love to my wife like a 20-year old – long loud and 7 or 8 times a day.  In fact, my wife has never been happier, though lately she has taken to locking the bedroom door and crying…..probably from happiness.  Thank you LeFloZyte!”

Hugh from Germantown, New York writes “I have never had a problem with performance but lately had become self-conscious over my too small penis.  While I had always considered myself at least average sized I was beginning to notice that my penis did not appear to be as large as the ones I downloaded from the internet.  And I was always going and going and going.  But with one pill a day my problems were solved.  Now my penis is larger than the ones I see on the internet.  I’ve posted it on Facebook I’m so damn proud.  And I haven’t gone to the bathroom in weeks!  I don’t know what I’d do without LeFloZyte!’

Andy from St. Paul Minnesota writes “My too small penis was hampering my hobby as a flasher.  The girl scouts used to just point and laugh.  When I would be arrested no one wanted to share a jail cell with me because I’d keep them awake all night going and going and going.  I had lost all desire for my inflatable doll.  Then my doctor told me about LeFloZyte. Now my penis is so large people can’t help but notice.  I hang it outside my car window and use it as a turn signal.  My inflatable doll is taking a pounding and I may never go to the bathroom again!  LeFloZyte you’re a lifesaver!”

And these are just a sample of the testimonials from our happy customers.  Join the LeFloZyte army today and change your life forever.  Now only $59.99 a month.  Do not take LeFloZyte if you are taking nitrates for chest pain as this may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure.  Possible side effects include bloating and a propensity to commit sex crimes. In rare cases spontaneous combustion has been reported.


Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>