Iranian Leader Ahmadinejad Appears on The Dating Game

Iranian President and game show contestantIn a sign of a thaw in U.S.-Iranian relations, Iranian President Mahmoud Admadinejad made a guest appearance on the popular show “The Dating Game.”

Wearing his trademark tan windbreaker Admadinejad appeared as bachelor no. 2, between bachelor no. 1 (North Korean Dear Leader  Kim Jong-il) and bachelor no. 3 (a 47-year old help desk technician and blogger).

Things got off to a lively start when the bachelorette, a 25 year old swimsuit model asked the three bachelors what they would do if they were on a date and another man kept hitting on her.

Kim Jong-il replied “I would mercilessly annihilate him with my nuclear arsenal.”  With nervous giggles the bachelorette replied “Wow.  A little violent perhaps.”

Bachelor no. 3 replied “We would leave peacefully.  There are other places to go and life is too short.” The studio audience laughed derisively to catcalls of “wimp.”

Ahmadinejad replied, “I do not recognize this other man’s right to exist.”

The bachelorette seemed to like this answer and said “Now that’s what I like.  A take charge man.”

Her next question was “Describe a perfect first date.”

Bachelor no. 3, who never seemed to recover from the first question said, “I don’t make a lot of money.  Maybe we’d see a movie then stop by a bar for a drink or two.  It depends.  What would you like to do?”

The audience bombarded the stage with boos and catcalls of  “Wimp!” and “Grow a pair!”  Bachelor no. 3 attempted to defend himself but was grabbed by studio security and taken backstage and beaten unconscious.  He was then tossed into the alley with a sign attached to him that said “Wimp and blogger.”

Kim Jong-il said “I would take you to my  private theatre and we would watch cartoons.  I love cartoons. I love my hair.”

The bachelorette replied “Well, that’s sweet.  Cartoons are very sweet” and rolled her eyes.

Ahmadinejad appeared to seal the deal at this point by saying “I would let you watch me destroy all the enemies of Allah.”

The crowd cheered and the bachelorette chose him as her date.

“I liked all his answers.  He’s strong and take charge.  Bachelor no. 1 was kinda sweet but he struck me as a momma’s boy.  Bachelor no. 3 really never figured into the equation.  He was undecisive and weak.  Plus, he had a blog.  C’mon.  A blog? What woman wants to date a freak who has a blog.  He probably sits at home in his underwear drinking beer while writing in his so-called blog, then prints out posts and shows them to friends in a pathetic attempt to garner approval.  He disgusts me and I spit on him.”

After being introduced to her date and giving the final goodbye kiss to the audience they learned where they would be going on their date.

“Congratulations” said the host Chuck Woolery.   “You’ve just won a week in Tel Aviv.”

As the closing credits rolled, Ahmadinejad could be seen gesticulating and saying “I can’t go there.  I’m bombing it next week.”


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