This person is a fake person of color and does not deserve our sympathy or access to the colored person’s dispensation

You know what they say about peoples of color?  They are all reliably socialist and Democratic. This makes them morally superior to the White man.  Except for Cubans who vote Republican.

Today it is part six (that’s seis in Espanol, the peace loving future language of America) of my series 2017 Inaugural addresses. This time I feature controversial Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal.

I say controversial because Jindal, who markets himself as a person of color, does not speak Spanish nor is he a member of the Democratic party. And not being Cuban there is no excuse for this.

On a cold winter’s day in the Capitol, the controversial Jindal gave his inauguration speech,despite the threats of protest from Democrats, outraged that a fake person of color was stealing the thunder of Hispanics.

My fellow Americans. I am proud and humbled to take the oath of office as your 45th president of this great country. Where else in the world can a man who is the son of immigrants from India become elected to the highest office of the third most powerful nation in the world? For despite our crippling debt we are still a powerful and respected nation, behind only China and Iran.

It was at this point that Democratic senators and congressmen in attendance stood up and turned their backs on Jindal in protest over his controversial ethnic identification.

Over at MSNBC, pundit Chris Matthews opined as to the reason for the protest.

This person, this psychopath Jindal thinks he is a person of color.  My ass.  What sort of Hispanic name is Jindal? I think it’s Irish.  Bobby O’Jindal I should call this faker.  He’s a faker.  A faker! What sort of person of color, what sort of true and loyal person of color, abandons their home, holy mother Democratic party to self-identify as a Republican? His parents are from Indiana!  Son of immigrants my ass. He’s a sociopath! He does not deserve the person of color’s dispensation. Cut his microphone!  Cut his microphone!

As Jindal’s microphone was cut a fellow MSNBC anchor informed Matthews that Jindal’s parents were from India.

So he’s an Indian? Bull! Give me a rain dance then Mister so-called Indian.  Bobby O’Jindal I know Elizabeth Warren.  Elizabeth Warren is a friend of mine.  And you sir are no Elizabeth Warren. She even knows Spanish. Uno dos tres.  Do you know what I just said to you O’Jindal? One two three.  As in one two three, Bobby O’Jindal’s got to go!  Yeah I know that doesn’t rhyme but I’m a Democrat so it’s witty.

As technicians struggled to get Jindal’s microphone working an enraged Matthews, spittle flying from his mouth, continued.

He’s a Republican.  And he’s Catholic! I bet this fake person of color will personally use barbed wire in back alleys as he performs abortions. The Pope says abortion and homosexuality are okay.  Listen to your Pope!  I’m Chris Matthews and I have to leave the studio I’m so disgusted by this man.

Eventually, Democratic union workers were able to get Jindal’s microphone working as he finished his speech.

“Once again, I’d like to say how truly humbled I am to be your President” said the fake person of color.

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