Batman Banned From Using Gas-Powered Batmobile Within Gotham City Limits!

Batman’s gas-powered Earth-destroying Batmobile!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Gotham City Council has announced that Batman would henceforth be banned from using his Batmobile in Gotham.

“While we appreciate all Batman does to keep our city safe we are in a climate crisis”  said the Council President.

The so-called “Batmobile” is an Earth-destroying gas-guzzling vehicle. Sea levels are rising and if we do not tackle the climate crisis soon we shall all be underwater. Granted Gotham is nowhere near the ocean but we do have a lake in our park. The same principle applies. If the lake levels rise even a couple feet Gotham’s historic downtown business district will be underwater.  And that includes the Starbucks! And we remind Batman that we have asked him many times in the past to consider switching to an electric Batmobile. So this banishment is on him.

When informed of the Council’s edict, Batman defended his use of a gas-powered crime-fighting car.

“An electric Batmobile?  Are these idiots serious?” said the caped crusader.

Look, Robin and I care about the environment as much as the next crimefighter.  And I’ve looked into an electric vehicle.  It’s just not practical.  Electric cars cost too much and I’m trying to keep down expenses. You can’t exactly claim crime fighting deductions on your W2.  And don’t get me started on charging it.  It takes a couple hours you know. One time several people were murdered while I was at the charging station waiting for the damn thing to charge up. And to top it off my card was declined.  How can my card be declined?  I’m Batman!

Despite Batman’s pleas the City Council remained unmoved and would not rescind their banning of the Batmobile.

“Batman can use one of our new clean-energy hybrid buses” said a Council member.

Told that he may have to use a bus, Batman became livid.

A bus?  Are they kidding me?  First off you have to wait around in all kinds of weather for the damn thing to show up. And once you’re on the bus you have to fight some old broad for the last seat. It’s just bad for my image to be seen getting into it with someone’s grandmother.  Even if she deserves it.

Declining the use of a bus and with the Batmobile banned, Batman has announced that henceforth he and Robin will be running to all crime scenes.

Goddamn City Council!

 

 

 

 

 

 

“It’s not the end of the world” said Robin.

In fact, Batman and myself have never been in better shape. We’re thinking of entering the Gotham City marathon.  That is unless the downtown business district is underwater.  From all the climate change.

Batman also praised the new running regimen.

My body is lithe and toned. I’d like to see Catwoman turn me down now!”

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