Aging Socialists Sing the Glory of Capitalism!

We still believe in socialism but need money!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aging socialists Crosby, Stills and Nash have ended their war with Spotify after finding out that their dreams of a socialist workers paradise needed a cash infusion.

“We’re from the 60s” said Stephen Stills.

We believe in peace and freedom of speech.  That’s why we hate Joe Rogan and wanted to silence him.  Rogan and his free-thinking ways threaten everything. That’s why we told Spotify to remove our songs.  We knew Spotify would do as we said and the hater Joe Rogan would get his comeuppance.

However the trio were flabbergasted that Spotify accepted their desire to remove their songs and keep Joe Rogan instead.

“Doesn’t Spotify know who we are?  Don’t they know how important we are to an entire generation” said Graham Nash.

I mean come on.  Our house is a very very very fine house with two cats in the yard life used to be so hard.  I wrote that.  And I stand behind the sentiment. Banana yellow purple dogface.  Hey, is that my nurse?  Nurse!  Where are my prostate pills.  I haven’t peed since we the last time we had a hit!

From his home in a van down by the river David Crosby chimed in.

“I need money. I need it badly.”

I haven’t had someone give me money since Melissa Etheridge paid me to be a sperm donor. That was over twenty years ago. The only money I get now is from Spotify when someone downloads a song of mine. I mean I haven’t received anything from them in years but I did get a receipt once that said someone in 2019 downloaded one of my songs. Without Spotify I lose even that income.  I tried selling my liver but once they found out who I was they decided to take Keith Richards’ instead.  I had to settle for selling my spleen. It paid for two bowls of meth but a liver would have paid for four.

Sometime partner Neil Young also asked that his songs be allowed back on Spotify after losing his income stream.

 

 

 

 

 

My generation is frightened and confused by this whole streaming thing.  What is streaming?  Graham Nash said it had something to do with his prostate. What that has to do with royalty checks I don’t know. But baby needs a new mink coat. So I, temporarily mind you, decided that giving in to our capitalist values was more important than my core socialist beliefs.  Like I said this is only temporary.  Once baby gets a new mink coat  I’m removing my songs again.  Screw Joe Rogan.

From Spotify’s corporate headquarters a company spokesman had this to say about the controversy:

Since we put their music back in rotation I think we had one download from a retiree in Boca Rotan. So yeah you can say there isn’t much demand. Frankly Milli Vanilli gets more downloads.

****************************************************************************************************************************

Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News

*****************************************************************************************************************************

A van belonging to 60’s icon David Crosby has been destroyed in an explosion believed to have been caused by meth fumes.

Stills, Nash and Young have promised to tour in memory of their old friend as soon as they get a royalty check from Spotify.

(73)

4 Responses

  1. xtron says:

    most, if not all, of the “tune in, turn on, drop out” hippies that loved these guys cleaned up, got hair cuts, and finished their political science/law degrees, and they are now running the country.
    kinda hard to stick it to the man when you are the man.

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      I’ve always been amused how they still view themselves as renegade and revolutionaries when they now represent the established order.

  2. LSP says:

    Wow.

    Behold the genius.

    I warned Joni, I really did, and look what happened.

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      You know you’ve never seen Joni Mitchell and Hillary Clinton in the same room at the same time.

      Think about it.

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>