Rule no. 1 in time travel: keep your mittens off your mother

The American Association of Time Travelers and Refrigerator Mechanics has suspended member Marty McFly after McFly admitted to having sex with his mother while on a visit to the past.

“This is a very serious violation of our by-laws” declared the Association’s president.

We here at the American Association of Time Travelers and Refrigerator Mechanics, those with a military background may know them as recon rangers, tell all our members that when time traveling remember to have fun but do not under any circumstances sleep with your mother. I mean sure who hasn’t wanted to sleep with their mother. It’s a powerful urge. But if we allow our members do this the next thing you know they will be murdering their fathers. And that is a serious violation. Not as serious as sleeping with one’s mother but pretty high up. I’d put it as a six out of ten whereas fornicating with your mother is a ten out of ten. So just have fun when time traveling but don’t do this. Look we all like to let our hair down when time traveling. Once I went back to 1960s London and slept with Diana Rigg 

Participated in time travel sex

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she was filming an episode of the Avengers. I remember Patrick MacNee, dear man that he was, saying “I say chap would you mind moving a little to the right so I can see Diana’s facial expressions.” So we aren’t prudes. But mother sex goes over the line.

McFly for his part claims that he is the innocent party.

“Look when I went back in time having sex with my mother was the last thing on my mind” said the now-suspended time traveler.

My original plan was to travel to 1940s Los Angeles and bang the crap out of Lana Turner.

Open to the possibility of time travel sex

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know. A commendable goal. But I guess all the cocaine inside my DeLorean messed with the engine and I ended up at my parents place in the 1950s. My car wasn’t working and I thought I’d be trapped in the past forever. Then my mother kept coming onto me and putting her hand on my knee. I tried to resist but I have to admit my mother had it going on in the 1950s.  So why not? Might as well have sex with her, marry her and become my own father. At least by being my own father I’d be able to resist the urge to murder my father after sleeping with my mother. But yeah I understand why the Association had to suspend me. Rules are Rules.

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Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News

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Marty McFly has killed himself.

“I don’t know why he did it” said a neighbor.  “He always seemed so happy. The only thing I can think of is maybe he traveled back in time and slept with his mother.’

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