Come fly with me!

With the news that Orange Man Bad™ had cancelled Nancy Pelosi’s government plane ride to Europe, the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™, like the rest of the world, was filled with outrage!

Naturally I stepped in and offered to buy a ticket for Speaker Pelosi on one condition:  She sit next to me on the plane and agree to an exclusive interview. She agreed.

I met her on board our flight to Europe and the interview began.

MI:  Yo Nancy. Nancy honey back here!

[Speaker Pelosi, with carry on luggage in tow, approaches Manhattan Infidel]

NP:  Are these our seats?

MI:  Yeah, sorry honey for buying coach. It’s all I could afford.

NP:  I haven’t flown coach in years. It’s below me. As a representative of the United States government I fly on private jets. It befits the dignity of my office.

MI:  Whatever honey. Yo, stewardess, I need a beer. You want a beer, Nancy?

NP:  I do not drink beer. Only low class people drink beer

[Manhattan Infidel drinks his beer down in one long gulp]

MI: Damn that’s good beer.

[Manhattan Infidel belches]

MI: That’s how you know I enjoyed the beer. A good long burp.

NP:  Lovely.

MI:  Hey, you mind if I take your barf bag. I have one but sometimes I need more than one.

NP:  God damn you Donald Trump. God damn you.

[Three hours later. Manhattan Infidel is vomiting into his flight sickness bag]

MI:  Oh god. I don’t fly well.  Did I get any vomit on you?

NP:  Yes. You threw up all over me after using the barf bags.

MI:  Sorry about that.

NP:  Maybe you shouldn’t have had those ten beers. Are you typical of Donald Trump supporters? Are you all deplorable beer drinkers?

MI:  Well actually – oh god here I go again.

[Manhattan Infidel projectile vomits all over Speaker Pelosi]

MI:  Jesus it’s like a river of fire coming out of my mouth.

NP:  This really smells. Oh god the smell of vomit. It reminds me of Harry Reid.  Oh god no – 

[Speaker Pelosi vomits on Manhattan Infidel who returns the favor and vomits all over Pelosi]

[Three more hours pass.  Manhattan Infidel and Speaker Pelosi have passed the time vomiting and drinking beer]

NP:  You know Manhattan Infidel vomit aside you’re okay in my book.

MI:  Nancy you’re okay with me too.

[They begin to make out]

NP:  I never thought the taste of vomit would be so sexy.

MI: I’m gonna do you now Nancy. I don’t care what the stewardess says!

NP:  Give it to me vomit man!

[They both pass out]

I don’t have much memory of the flight. I’m sure I asked her many important, probing questions about the current political situation in Washington.

(90)