Bernie Sanders Responds to Allegations of Pay Disparity and Sexual Harassment During His 2016 Campaign

Socialists like to redistribute things, including bodily fluids








Lately 2016 Democratic-Socialist candidate Bernie Sanders has been rocked by allegations that his campaign was rife with sexual harassment and pay inequality. Mr. Sanders has asked to use this blog to defend himself and his male campaign workers. We at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ have acceded to his request.

Take it away Senator Sanders.

Thank you Manhattan Infidel.

Like many of you I was shocked to learn that accusations of bad conduct were made against campaign workers of mine during 2016. Shocked to learn that Republicans could sink so low as to accuse socialists of this type of behavior.

Sexual harassment is a term invented by capitalists that exposes their dirty, filthy minds.

What happened to my female campaign workers at the hands of the male campaign workers was not, is not, in any way shape or form so-called harassment.

I am a socialist. My campaign workers are socialists. As socialists what we strive to do is equitably redistribute the things of this world. 

My male campaign workers, as good socialists, were simply redistributing their hands, tongues and penises to the bodies of the female campaign workers.

What could possibly be wrong with that?

Now I appreciate that not everyone who reads your blog is a socialist. So I will put my male campaign workers behavior in terms that capitalists will be able to understand:

Capitalism is based on the transfer of goods and services. My female campaign workers had the goods, being their bodies. My male campaign workers did them a service by redistributing their semen all over them.

Now, again, had my campaign workers been capitalists they would have paid the women. And that is shameful. Instead, as socialists the women were not paid. Instead they were given papers that allowed them to get food from officially approved government stores. And, as socialists, we confiscated their guns.

I really don’t understand what the big deal is about the semen redistribution. Women enjoy intercourse with men and enjoy fantasizing about being raped by three men simultaneously. I have written about this before. 

Redistribution of bodily fluids!










Now onto the second allegation:  Pay disparity.

We must all admit that income inequality is a very serious problem in the United States. More must be done to ensure that everyone makes the same salary.

Well, for the men anyway.

In the socialist society that I want to bring to the capitalist United States the nuclear family will be abolished and it will now take a village to raise a child.

Naturally this means women will not be allowed to get jobs. We will need them in our long houses nursing and raising the children.

By paying the women less I was simply weaning them off their capitalistic ways and introducing them to the wonder of socialism.

And by the wonder of socialism I also mean the semen from my male coworkers.

I hope this clears up any misunderstanding.

Um.  Thank you Bernie Sanders I’m sure my readers appreciate your words and now have a better understanding of the glory of socialism.


1 Comment

One Response

  1. Evena says:

    I think this is a disgrace. The women at the campaign headquarters should have been paid for their services and then they could have donated the money back to the Bernie Campaign Fund and kept the redistribution cycle going strong. Better yet just have them file a complaint with the EEOC then sue, then collect millions, then donate it all back to the Bernie Campaign Fund for 2020.

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