All reader mail is verified and truthful

Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we get reader mail. Tons of it.  Well, maybe not tons. More like none. But it is a source of pride that this is still more mail than either CNN or MSNBC’s blogs get.

And so now sit back and enjoy some totally truthful and verified reader mail.

Missy P. of New York City writes, “Tyger Tyger, burning bright, In the forests of the night; What immortal hand or eye, Could frame thy fearful symmetry?”

Alright I’ll add more of those special “calming” drops to your daily food ration. Just quit whining.

Penelope R. of New York City writes, “April is the cruelest month, breeding Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing Memory and desire, stirring Dull roots with spring rain. Winter kept us warm, covering Earth in forgetful snow, feeding A little life with dried tubers.”

Yeah speaking of dried tubers is there a reason you won’t use the litter box? I’m tired of stepping in it every morning.

Maxine P. of New York City writes, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall, That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it, And spills the upper boulders in the sun; And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.”

Don’t worry. The new border wall designs will ensure no one passes abreast from Mexico to the United States.

C.H.E. of Riverview, Florida writes, “Are you the new person drawn toward me? To begin with, take warning, I am surely far different from what you suppose; Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal? Do you think it so easy to have me become your lover? Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloy’d satisfaction? Do you think I am trusty and faithful? Do you see no further than this façade, this smooth and tolerant manner of me? Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man? Have you no thought, O dreamer, that it may be all maya, illusion?”

Jeesh. Alright I’ll stop sending you those tasteful and artistic full-frontal nude photos.

Jesus of Nazareth writes, “I am the way, the truth and the life.”

Yeah I hope you have a permit for that. And you had better be paying all your sales tax. You got a nice messiah thing going on there. Shame if the government were to take it all away.

Andrejs P. of Poughkeepsie, New York writes, “But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed, Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter, I am no prophet — and here’s no great matter; I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker, And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, And in short, I was afraid.”

You should be afraid. Once Governor Cuomo (may he remain forever blessed and in power) sees your social media posts they are going to take your guns away!

Peter Clemenza writes “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”

You did a good thing leaving the gun. Better still you should bring it in to an official police-sponsored buy back location. Private citizens do not need guns.  Only government officials should have them.

Julius Caesar of Rome, Italy writes, “It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear.”

You’ve obviously never been to San Francisco.

And there you have it. Keep those cards and letters coming because, well, I never get mail and I’m very lonely.

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